Woman Shares Her 'Ultimate' Conversation Hack to Avoid Awkward Silences

Is there anything worse than a conversation plagued by awkward silences? Fortunately, they can be a thing of the past because this dating coach has shared her simple hack to avoid suffering any difficult lapses while chatting.

Genny Diehl, 23, shared her advice in a TikTok video (@datingcoachdiehl), where she explained that the best way to keep the conversation flowing and avoid any pauses is to adopt a reflective listening approach.

This tactic allows the listener to repeat what they just heard back to the speaker, phrasing it like a question instead. Not only is this "the easiest way" to avoid awkward silences, but Diehl, from Boston, told Newsweek that it can help listeners feel engaged in the conversation even if they don't know what to say.

"Reflective listening is when someone shows they're paying attention to what the speaker is saying by reflecting back what they're hearing, like a mirror," Diehl said. "Silences feel awkward when no one knows what to say, so the easy solution is to simply repeat an earlier thought or observation in the form of a question, inviting elaboration.

"It's great to do when your friend, partner, or peer just needs to rant or share a cool story, as opposed to wanting advice or guidance."

Genny Diehl dating coach
Genny Diehl, 23, shares how reflective listening and synonym tactic can help people avoid awkward silences. With these techniques, Diehl says that people can feel engaged and active in a conversation. @datingcoachdiehl / TikTok

This hack is a saving grace for any listeners who are lost for words or perhaps got caught daydreaming rather than paying attention, but Diehl suggests that the technique can help the speaker, too. After hearing the final few words of their sentence repeated back to them, the speaker can process what they just said and consider their feelings.

It's a conversation game-changer—and it's not Diehl's only technique. For variation, she suggests interchanging reflective listening with the synonym tactic.

"The synonym tactic is a way of reflecting back what was just said without using the exact phrasing to avoid seeming repetitive. It also invites clarification, so you know you understood the meaning of what you heard," Diehl said.

An example of this technique could be a friend telling you about a really boring date they went on, to which the listener can ask, "Was it dull?"

How Did TikTok React?

Diehl herself isn't immune to awkward silences of course, but she uses these tactics every day to try and cut them out whenever possible. Whether she's speaking to friends or family or on a first date, these techniques have been transformative.

Since sharing the "ultimate convo hack," the video has been viewed over 1.6 million times and gained more than 152,500 likes on TikTok. Many people have thanked her for helping to improve their conversational skills with these easy-to-follow tips.

"Some commenters realized that they've already been practicing my tips without knowing, and others thanked me for the practical advice. But a small few say that if someone did this to them, then they'd be annoyed," Diehl told Newsweek.

"Just remember, the more conversations you have, the less daunting each awkward silence will feel."

Diehl's clever hack has helped many people overcome the perils of small talk, and the post has already amassed over 240 comments on TikTok.

One person wrote: "The way I did this before knowing it was a thing."

Another TikTok user commented, "I just ask them questions that steers the convo to stuff I know/ can input."

Another comment reads: "this is revolutionary actually."

If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on Newsweek's "What Should I Do? section.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Alyce Collins is a Newsweek Life and Trends reporter based in Birmingham, U.K. with a focus on trending topics that ... Read more

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