'Aladdin' 2019 Remake Needs Jaden Smith's Oracular Tweets

It's still not clear what we can expect from Disney's live-action remake of Aladdin.The mouse house's recent new spins on The Jungle Book and Beauty and the Beast dramatized two possible approaches for the spate of similar reimaginings on the horizon.

With The Jungle Book, Jon Favreau not only changed the plot of Disney's 1967 original, but also deconstructed old scenes like King Louie's "I Wanna Be Like You," transforming something slapstick into a surreal nightmare, thanks to the ape's new King Kong proportions and Christopher Walken transforming the character into a simian version of Apocalypse Now's Colonel Kurtz, himself inspired by the imperialist villain of Heart of Darkness. Beauty and the Beast eschewed the intellectualism and retreated to opposite pole of the spectrum, retreading the original with nothing new but rococo fussiness.

It's not yet clear which approach Guy Ritchie's live-action remake of Aladdin will take, though the teaser leans away from freewheeling adaptation and more toward imitation, presenting a handful of moments recreated almost exactly from the 1992 original.

What if Aladdin but every shot was busier and less clear? https://t.co/OtKRxSparH

— Santa's Little Yumnut (he/him) (@hamishsteele) October 12, 2018

One of the big unknowns about the new Aladdin is how closely its Genie, this time played by Will Smith, will take after Robin Williams' unforgettable performance. While Smith doesn't have Williams' flair for rapid-fire impersonation, it's easy to imagine a similar enough on-screen presence, leaning on Smith's quick wit and charisma to create a similar dynamic between him and Mena Massoud's Aladdin as between Williams and original voice actor Scott Weinger.

But there's still something Disney can do to ensure their new Aladdin is more adaptation, less imitation: Smith swap.

We need a Jaden Genie.

What would be even better would be a radical reimagining of the character itself, so no one, not even Will Smith, has the unenviable task of trying to top Williams. A genie doesn't have to be relatable. It's a being of endless cosmic power, with a perspective stretching over eons.

What if instead the genie spoke in a more mystical, oracular lexicon?

When it comes to mystical and oracular, there's nothing that tops Jaden's tweets.

Here's a Genie line:

The More Time You Spend Awake The More Time You Spend Asleep.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 13, 2015

Can't you imagine Genie saying this to Flying Carpet?

Don't Worry Bae I'll Talk To You About SpaceTime Over FaceTime.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) December 16, 2014

He could say this right before banishing Jafar:

The Biggest Flex Anyone Will Ever Have Is Dying.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 4, 2015

In the original Aladdin, Genie has timely impersonations like, uh, Peter Lorre and William F. Buckley, but here's what Jaden can bring to the table:

I Feel Like I’m GOKU

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 2, 2018

There's a middle road: maybe Jaden could be the inspiration for some of his dad's dialogue in the upcoming film. Or Disney can just play it safe with one of the most successful and charismatic actors of all time and reap what's sure to be hundreds of millions of dollars in ticket sales. But why, when you could instead have something baffling, alienating and non sequitur?

Disney is currently developing live-action remakes of Mulan, The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Dumbo, Snow White, Pinocchio, The Sword in the Stone, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, so even if he there's still other opportunities to give this country a much-needed dose of Jaden.

Aladdin is out in theaters May 24, 2019.

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