Bride Refusing to Change Wedding Cake Choice Over Her Mom's Allergy Backed

A Bride risked a family feud after she refused to change the flavor of a wedding cake her mother would not be able to enjoy due to an allergy to strawberries.

Weddings can be stressful occasions with everything from seating arrangements to dress codes needing a decision to be taken and Reddit user Akiyuu shared her dilemma when her choice of strawberry cake drew ire from her mother.

"My mother is mildly allergic to strawberries. Will have a headache and a mild rash if she eats one but is fine with eating food that has touched strawberries," the bride-to-be said in the December 4 post uploaded to Reddit's Am I The ******* page, which received more than 4,200 upvotes and can be seen here.

"She is absolutely incensed with my plan to include strawberries in my wedding cake and continuously makes passive-aggressive comments about how wedding RSVPs include a section for the guests' allergies and she would never serve something a guest couldn't eat," the Redditor said.

"I explained to her that she is more than free to eat the other two cakes, they will be entirely strawberry-free, aren't even touching the top cake, and more importantly, my mother has diabetes and won't be eating more than a small slice, to begin with."

In an update post, the bride-to-be explained the cake's tiers would not touch one another and that they had reserved a restaurant where people could order according to their preferences and dietary restrictions.

The decision led to a rift in the family, with the woman's fiancé believing the mother was "being selfish" while her dad asked if strawberries could be omitted entirely.

Newsweek reached out to Akiyuu for comment via Reddit.

An Expert's View on the Dilemma

Wedding expert and editor of Hitched.co.uk, Zoe Burke, told Newsweek that couples needed to be aware of people's allergies and should ensure everyone is safe at their event.

"Where a guest alerts you to an allergy, we recommend consulting with them to understand what their medical requirements are. In this case, as the poster has said, the allergy is mild. I would suggest having an alternative that is safe for the mother of the bride, which it sounds like they have done," she said.

"If you're worried about allergies at your wedding, make sure you have a section to ask about them on your RSVP and brief your venue ahead of time. Where severe allergies pose a safety issue, it is important that you be transparent with your guests about their possible exposure at the event so that they can make their own medical decisions."

Many Reddit users firmly sided with the bride-to-be's plans and generated a wider discussion around people feeling entitled to steering wedding planning if they have contributed financially. The Redditor disclosed in the comments that her mother was paying $2,000 toward the celebration.

A poster whose comment was upvoted more than 3,800 times said: "NTA (not the A******) as long as it's actually safe for her to eat the cake, and you aren't downplaying her allergy. Even if she's okay with being near strawberries, another tier of the same cake would be worrisome to me. But as long as she's not completely excluded from dessert, either the other tiers or another dessert, it's fine."

RB1327, whose post received 1,000 upvotes, wrote: "When other people fund your wedding, they often think they are entitled to more control of the event."

HeirOfRavenclaw commented: "She's making it seem like the most important aspect of this day is her ability to eat, or not eat, cake."

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.