Child Excluded From Family Dinners for Eating 'Junk Food' Sparks Debate

A dispute over whether a child with an eating disorder should be allowed to attend family dinners with his cousins and other relatives has drawn contrasting reactions online.

In a Reddit post upvoted over 10,000 times, a concerned dad writing as "arfidmealhelp," detailed the difficulties he has faced as the parent of a child with Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID).

ARFID shares similarities with anorexia in that both involve placing limitations on the amount or types of food consumed. However, ARFID does not result in distress over body shape or weight.

The National Eating Disorders Association notes ARFID relates to a "lack of interest in eating or food" with that avoidance born out of "the sensory characteristics of food" or "concern about aversive consequences of eating."

"In ARFID, the body is denied the essential nutrients it needs to function normally. Thus, the body is forced to slow down all of its processes to conserve energy, resulting in serious medical consequences," it warns.

The parent sharing his story said his 9-year-old son has been working with therapists for years to try to improve the situation but progress has been "slow."

At present he has "very few safe foods" and they are mainly processed "junk foods." He has, however, made significant strides when it comes to eating in public, albeit mainly with trips to McDonald's.

With that in mind, his parents had hoped to reintegrate him into the regular get-togethers over dinner they previously enjoyed with their extended family. The plan was to bring food for their son to have at the dinner "so he could eat comfortably."

However, when his wife's sister got word of this, she said it would be "too unfair on the other kids to have to eat proper meals while he gets to snack on junk food."

The dad said: "We obviously understand, but the youngest of the children is eight, and I feel like at that age it's easy to explain that he has additional needs."

In response, he told his sister-in-law his son should be "treated better" as it was a "serious medical situation" and one that could be easily explained to the other children.

His wife's sibling refused to back down though, telling him her kids "shouldn't have to be forced to watch him eat nicer food" and ending abruptly soon after. But while the dad remained indignant on the subject, Reddit appeared divided on the issue.

"I mean, to be totally fair, your son wouldn't be 'treated equally' if he's eating different food," Tubesweaterguru said. "And I do imagine it would be hard to explain to children why your son gets, for example, the McDonalds you picked up on the way over and they have to eat chicken and broccoli." AstariaEriol agreed, claiming that the explanation "probably won't go over too well with an eight year old."

Queefer_sutherland92 spoke up in defense of the child though. "I have it, and it's less like not wanting to eat something or not liking something, and more like your body physically rejecting it... Basically like a phobia," they said. "Processed foods tend to be "safe" because they're the same every time."

Lovingbutdifferent felt the child could have been easily accommodated at the dinner. They said: "I taught preschool where certain 3 year olds practiced different levels of Judaism and couldn't eat ice cream....if 3 year olds can understand that different families have different needs, an 8 year old can."

That was the sentiment shared by psychologist Mona Hansen, a leading authority on ARFID, who rejected the idea that other children would be jealous or resentful of another's dietary requirements.

Hansen told Newsweek: "In all my years of treating ARFID I haven't come across a case of sibling resentment due to a child suffering with ARFID having particular dietary requirements."

"As most children with ARFID suffer, not just physically but also emotionally and socially, the sibling and other family members typically seem to have empathy for the ARFID sufferer," she said.

"Juvenile ARFID sufferers are often exquisitely sensitive to peer opinions and attitudes at the same time as they are learning to negotiate social situations—like sleep-overs and school trips—where their eating behaviour will be on show and subject to sometimes less than sympathetic scrutiny from their juvenile peers."

She added: "Siblings of ARFID sufferers are very often able to appreciate that, far from benefiting from 'special treatment', their brother or sister is suffering from a debilitating condition."

Hansen said it is important for siblings and family members to "provide support" in these circumstances and noted that, in some treatments, they can also "play a useful role by modeling healthy eating."