Chris Pratt Needs to Be Stopped

Chris Pratt needs to be stopped. First, he voiced Mario in The Super Mario Bros. Movie—which, fine, it was a hit, but does that mean he should have been the voice for the rotund Italian plumber? I don't think so—and now he's voicing Garfield in The Garfield Movie (Feb. 16). While him voicing the lasagna-loving sleepy cat isn't as offensive as the Mario casting was, it's yet another example that Chris Pratt is the basic (insert actor here) to fill Hollywood's quota for lazy/safe casting.

OK, before we get to my (admittedly) unhinged takedown of Chris Pratt, subscribe to my newsletter For the Culture for everything you need to know about pop culture delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday. And while you're at it, listen to The Parting Shot with H. Alan Scott podcast for more entertainment interviews and opinions.

Now listen, I have nothing against Chris Pratt. I think he's a fine actor. Is he Daniel Day-Lewis? Denzel Washington? Hell, Robert Downey Jr.? No, on all fronts. But he's an enjoyable, non-threatening screen presence, making you leave the movie theater feeling completely indifferent about his performance. The only exception to this is, perhaps, the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise, where his milquetoast charm works for the character because it allows the other characters to make fun of him for being, well, basic. (I'd also add his Parks and Recreation days here because the character was meant to be that affable, if not a little daft dude who is just a lovable guy.)

But that lovable dudeness should never have translated to movie stardom in the way it has because there's nothing dynamic about it. Sure, it might work here or there, but after a while, it gets boring. And these studios turning to Pratt because he's safe shows you how interested they are in creating something safe with zero longevity or originality. If it makes them some money that one year it comes out, then cool. (Think about how much money Iron Man, any Batman franchise, or even Tyler Perry movies continue to make over time because the leads aren't necessarily safe; they're complicated, outside the box, you know? Will I watch The Super Mario Bros movie again? Hell no.)

And honestly, it has less to do with Chris Pratt and more with these studio executives who keep turning to Pratt for all these things. They're afraid to put someone outside the norm in these roles because they're worried nobody will "relate" with this character. Honestly, that's a load of crap because it's Garfield, and everyone relates to Garfield, no matter who is voicing him. (Everyone loves to nap.)

The problem doesn't even end with Pratt. Jacob Elordi is everywhere right now, which is fine, but he's on the cusp of being scooped up by Hollywood and plopped into literally everything. I can just feel it happening. I hope he can resist the urge to be cast in, well, everything, but honestly, I doubt it. He's young and attractive and probably likes making lots of money. But watch, in a few years we'll be like, "Ugh, another Jacob Elordi movie." We can only go crazy over him being 6'5 so many times, you know what I mean?

Also, and this is a bit of a side-discussion, but let's just call it like it is, why should your cookie-cutter generic white dude be the go-to actor for voice roles that have nothing to do with their appearance? Like the four leads of The Super Mario Bros movie are voiced by white actors who, in addition to The Super Mario Bros movie, had multiple projects coming out simultaneously. Was nobody else available? Did nobody else need work?

Now that the SAG strike is over, Hollywood has an opportunity to do something radical and actually spread out the wealth a little bit when it comes to casting. Because with the success of films like The Little Mermaid, Barbie, Sound of Freedom, and even Oppenheimer, I think it's clear that we, as a movie-going public, are open to more diverse casting, interesting stories, and just not having the same god-damn actor be in every big movie.

(Unrelated, but it's important for me to disclose, I once interviewed Chris Pratt while he was promoting Jurassic World. He hugged me. It turns out he's very good at hugging. I'll give him that.)