Dating Coach Reveals What To Say To Quickly End Date With Zero Chemistry

It's an eternal question: How do you tell a date you're just not interested?

A dating coach on TikTok, Jacob Lucas (@jacoblucas101) is saying don't. In a viral video, he introduces a method to get out of a bad date easily: Just tell them you have an early morning the next day. Lucas spoke to Newsweek about how he came to the method and the feedback he's received since. His video has been viewed over 356,000 times and received over 9,400 likes—but not all viewers are convinced he's right.

"How to end a date early if you have no chemistry," he captioned the video before launching into the solution.

In the video, Lucas said people should employ a "false time constraint" before the date itself, to make leaving the date early more believable.

"'Yeah, a date sounds good,'" he suggested as a phrase to use when planning. "'I can't stay up too late though as I have to be up early in the morning for work.'"

Then, he said, if the person wants to leave the date early, they can return to the same excuse: "'Well, it was nice to meet you, but I must get home as it's getting late and I've got to be up early in the morning for work. Take care.'"

Lucas told Newsweek he came to this approach through this work as a dating and relationship coach.

"Many people get very nervous going on dates and are worried about what to do if they don't feel a connection with the other person," he said. "The method I use in this video allows the person to have a way out of the date if they aren't feeling a connection that won't hurt the other person's feelings. Instead, they are using the 'false time constraint' as something to use that gives them a legitimate excuse to leave."

Lucas said the method "takes off a lot of pressure" for people who aren't sure of how to exit a situation politely.

While Lucas' method may seem foolproof, viewers in the comments were not quite biting. Many said the best course of action would be honesty and transparency rather than an elaborate story.

"Why can't you just say, 'It was very nice meeting you, however I don't feel a connection and you may feel the same?'" @trish33pk asked.

Some offered alternative suggestions that still put a time constraint on the date, but without the background story.

"Set an expectation before the date: 'I can meet you for coffee for an hour.' No need to make up excuses," @jenmama21 wrote.

Viewers also said that the need to make up time constraints is, itself, perhaps a symptom of a greater issue: the pressure to have long, drawn out first dates.

"This is why I always suggest a lowkey date (coffee or drinks) within a 2-hour time window," @thefeministvocologist wrote. "I don't get why there's this push for 'has to be dinner.'"

Lucas said that the feedback he's personally received about the method has been positive: "Many people have done it and they said it makes them feel at ease knowing it's something they can use if needed."

A variety of other content exists on TikTok outlining the importance of honesty and clear communication, especially in the age of "ghosting". The search term, "How to tell someone you're not interested" has 19.2 million views on the app. Whether Lucas' method is the most moral is up for debate—but at least it's eloquent.

"One time after drinks, the guy said, 'Want to go for a walk?'" @abbeyboox wrote about one fateful date. "But when we got outside, he said, 'Want me to walk you to your car?'"