Diner Praised for Taking Themselves on a Romantic Date

A diner has been praised online after sharing how they took themselves on a date to cheer up.

Julian Misiak lives in the U.K. and recently shared the picture of their meal on Reddit's r/WitchesvsPatriarchy forum on Thursday, where it has since received more than 21,000 upvotes.

The popular Reddit community r/WitchesVsPatriarchy says it is "a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting and uplifting one another through humor and magic."

With more than 554,000 members around the world, the supportive community says it is a safe place for people to share "aspects of femininity that have been previously demonized and/or devalued by the patriarchy."

In the post, the Reddit user said: "I took myself out on a date instead of being sad. Does it count?"

Before long, the supportive community was out in force to support the Redditor. "Absolutely," said one reply. "In the wise words of Donna Meagle [a character in the show Parks and Recreation], Treat yo self!"

"You are your own best company," said another commenter.

"I'm going through a really tough time at the moment and just recently went through a break up which has been really hard. I was having a really bad day and decided I was going to turn it around and do something nice for myself," explained Misiak.

"Solo dates are the best," wrote another commenter. "No pressure and you get to do exactly what YOU want to do."

Another advocate of the solo date said: "Self-dates are possibly the best thing out there. Glad you were able to go out and treat yourself."

Misiak's solo date was a roaring success: "At first I was just going to order one drink, then I found myself really enjoying the fact that I could order anything and everything that I wanted, and stay how long I wanted."

In fact, taking yourself on a date alone is known to be a great practice in boosting confidence, independence and happiness.

One study published in 1996 by Reed Larson and Meery Lee revealed that the capacity to comfortably spend time alone can actually be a great buffer against stress—even beating social support in terms of positive psychological impact.

Individuals who reported comfort in being alone were found to be less likely to suffer depression and negative physical symptoms and to have greater satisfaction in life.

This is a comfort that Misiak says he found during his date: "It was amazing and while perhaps I had a little bit of a hangover early in the morning, it went away so quickly and I've no regrets at all. I've felt so uplifted since."

It is common for people to associate time spent alone with loneliness—something that has been proven to have negative health impacts, but a 2020 paper by Micaela Rodriguez, Benjamin W. Bellet, and Richard J. McNally highlights the distinctive differences between the two states.

"Loneliness is a subjective state of perceived social isolation. Thus, it may be a perception that predicts adverse health effects, rather than simply our objective isolation," explained the authors in the paper.

This reflects the idea that perception defines our alone time. Determining whether someone is enjoying solitude or feeling lonely is about mindset. As part of a study of 243 participants, the team examined whether challenging the thoughts around time spent alone could re-frame the mindset to perceive solitude in a more positive way.

Results found evidence that challenging a person's mindset, for instance through reading material, effectively broke down negative beliefs about being alone. It also promoted resilience and encouraged a positive outlook associated with time spent alone.

"Your date looked awesome. I do this every month," shared another Reddit user and member of the forum: "Celebrate how awesome you are."

"Yes!!" exclaimed another commenter: "Find your happiness wherever it is."

"I would really, really recommend it to others," said Misiak: "I plan on making this something I do every now and again, just for myself to make sure I can feel like this whenever I need that little lift of spirit."

UPDATE 06/17/22 09:20 a.m.: This article was updated to include new comment from the poster and a new image.