Though the internet is criticizing a middle-schooler for telling their classmate to cover up to avoid bullying, for the most part, they're treating it as a learning experience for the kid, rather than with the internet's usual vitriol.
The eighth-grader, u/nothingman24, posted their story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, earning over 2,400 comments and 3,300 upvotes for their post, "[Am I The A**hole] for telling my classmate to cover up their legs?"
The original poster (OP) said that they were about to graduate from their school, and all the eighth-graders were doing senior trips. The day prior to the post, they had gone to a trampoline park, and one of their classmates wore shorts. However, she suffers from eczema, and has dark spots on her legs.
The OP's friend kept cracking jokes about their classmate's "cow spots" and "giraffe spots," leading her to get upset. She told them to "leave my legs out of your conversation. I get enough s**t from strangers thinking I'll give their kids a disease," u/nothingman24 quoted, and their friend replied that she should mind her own business.
"I told her 'if you don't want people talking about your legs, then cover them up.' And one of her friends came to play knight in shining armor and said 'cover up and die of heatstroke? Because it's only getting hotter here in the Bronx, and no one is wearing sweats all the time,'" u/nothingman24 wrote.
A teacher stepped in at that point, leaving u/nothingman24 to wonder if he was wrong.
Dark spots on the skin—also called hyperpigmentation—is a common result of eczema, as is its opposite, hypopigmentation, or pale spots. Hyperpigmentation occurs when skin inflammation stimulates melanocytes, the cells responsible for skin color, according to the National Eczema Society. When the melanocytes are stimulated they make more pigment, which shows up as a dark spot when the skin is injured with scratching.
The Society also points out that dark spots can occur after a flare-up has healed. Though these patches aren't permanent, they can last for months, the society says, adding that this sort of pigmentation is also stimulated by sunlight.
However, a constant scratching due to eczema lesions can lead to lichenification, a thickening of the skin that also brings with it hyperpigmentation. Lichenification is also temporary and can often be treated with corticosteroid creams, antihistamines or warm oatmeal baths, according to Healthline.
Though Reddit agreed that u/nothingman24 was in the wrong, the top-rated post in particular, by u/allosaurusfromsd, explained exactly why in an effort to help the OP grow.
"So, you are young and I want you to think about this. There are a lot of things wrong here," u/allosaurusfromsd wrote, earning over 12,000 upvotes. "First, shaming someone for what they look like is wrong. Attacking someone for body weight or for skin color is wrong. Making fun of what someone's skin looks like is wrong.
"Second, telling someone that they have to dress a certain way to avoid unwanted attention is victim blaming. You told this poor person that it was her fault someone else wasn't being respectful," they continued. "Third, when one of her friends did stand up for her, you made fun of his actions and told him to butt out—even though you and your friend were already butting into the victim's business.
"Fourth, you justify saying she needs to cover up by saying she has done so in the past. Past decisions don't force someone to do the same moving forward. Maybe she did wear jeans and that's how she decided she was too hot this time. Maybe she changed her mind about what is comfortable. Right now is the time to take in the fact that someone can change their mind about what they are comfortable with and people need to respect the new boundary," u/allosaurusfromsd concluded. "[You're the A**hole]"
"Kid, [You're the A**hole]. You still have time to educate yourself on things outside of your personal experience and time to gain some basic empathy. I hope you don't grow up with these [a**hole] ways," u/Express-Stop7830 added.
"As someone with psoriasis I'm with you! Kids in school would refuse to sit next to me because they thought it was contagious so I always kept covered up. Mine flares up in the summer so obviously I'd be too hot covering up," u/Bookishhobbit- wrote.
"I lost total respect for someone I thought was a friend when they reacted rudely and negatively to someone I loved that had major plaque psoriasis, asking if he had the plague," u/No-Dig7828 wrote. "Despite previously adoring her, I distanced myself from her toxicity. No need for that in my life."
"The other issue is that things like this stay with you for a while. It's been over 15 years since someone commented on my hyperpigmentation and now I won't wear shorts, skirts or bikinis," u/Abstractteapot added. "And now I'm hyper aware of small discolouration on my skin. Ironically, one of the [a**holes] who gave me a lot of stick for my skin has mentioned how I'd look good in certain outfits and doesn't understand why I keep covering up."
Newsweek reached out to u/nothingman24 for comment.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Matt Keeley is a Newsweek editor based in Seattle. His focus is reporting on trends and internet culture. He has ... Read more
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