Father-in-Law Revealing to Daughter's Husband She Cheated Sparks Debate

A father with a "zero-tolerance" approach when it comes to cheating has divided opinions on social media after making a choice that ended his daughter's marriage.

In a now-deleted post shared on Reddit on Thursday, under the username Illustrious-Fall-849, he said that his 32-year-old daughter was trying to have a baby with her husband of four years, who she has been together with for over 10 years, until he got involved and changed everyone's life.

He explained that while they were out with friends, his wife got tipsy and and made a comment about his daughter that caught his attention.

"She said they've 'overcome a lot in the marriage' but then stopped herself and didn't continue," he wrote. "This made me curious because they've only been married four years and I wasn't aware of any roadblocks they had."

He went on to pressure his wife until she caved in and told him that about a year into her marriage, their daughter had cheated on her husband with a co-worker, but she only did it the one time, and has learned to be a faithful wife ever since.

The poster continued: "I did feel some slight guilt because I knew my wife would not have told me if she was sober and I wonder if I should not have pressed her on it, but I can't undo what I learned.

"I should now point out that when I was a lot younger I was with someone who cheated on me. I have zero tolerance for cheaters due to that so I might be biased. John is also like a son to me and my wife."

His wife asked him to keep it to himself, but after taking some time to consider it, he made up his mind.

"I feel like he had a right to know. I would not keep it a secret if I found out John cheated on her. The next day was Sunday and I knew I needed to talk to my daughter. My wife was against this, but I did end up having her come over the next day," he said.

"It did not go well. First she blew up at her mother for telling me. Then she yelled at me when I told her either she confesses or I am telling John. She said it was none of my business, etc. I disagreed, John is part of the family. She said I would destroy her life if I did this, she'd hate me, etc. She stormed out."

In the end, he told his son-in-law about the affair, who didn't take it well. He quickly packed his bags and left his wife and their home, refusing to try counseling and intent to pursue divorce.

The poster added: "Everyone hates me, my daughter hates me, my wife is also not on my side. All our family members say I overstepped. I've spoken to some of my friends, and they said I blew up my relationship with my daughter over this."

A 2022 poll by YouGov found that about 33 percent of Americans confess to having cheated on their partners, but the definition of cheating may vary among citizens.

They asked Americans what cheating means for them and about nine in 10 say that engaging in sexual acts with another person or sending nudes is cheating. While 83 percent of people also believe that sending suggestive online messages to another person is cheating too.

Lying about spending time with another person is also considered cheating by about 80 percent of Americans, same goes for forming an intense emotional attachment to another person, according to 73 percent of people.

Carole Lieberman, M.D., a Beverly Hills psychiatrist and author, told Newsweek: "The father absolutely did NOT 'do the right thing!' He was blinded by his painful memories of having been once cheated on himself. He also identified too closely with his son-in-law and tried to protect him, like he wishes he had been protected.

"If the father felt so strongly about this, he could have spoken to his daughter instead, and tried to convince her to tell her husband. But, a decision like this is ultimately up to her—and her dad stole it from her."

According to Lieberman, to try to salvage the situation, the father should apologize and pay for couples therapy for his daughter and son-in-law, although he should not expect to be forgiven by anyone, anytime soon.

She said: "The daughter has a lot of 'splainin to do to her husband, and hopefully, with time and therapy, they can heal their marriage."

The video quickly went viral on social media and has received over 11,000 upvotes and 11,000 likes on Reddit.

One user, Bitchinstein, commented: "Once upon a time I was John. My husband had girl secretly pregnant and NO ONE would tell me... except her mom called me and told me. Thank god, or I would have been stuck in a hell hole for the rest of my life."

processedmeat said: "[Not The A******]. If John cheated on Alice and you knew, would Alice want you to tell her?" And Cute-Assignment9272 said: "Morally, you did the right thing. Personally? Your daughter might never forgive you. Heck, your wife might not either."

Zannie95 added: "At the end what does it matter if Reddit says [Not The A******]? OP has to decide if he is okay with his decision. He also has to decide if it was worth his marriage & his relationship with his daughter. I doubt either woman [is] going to forgive him, even if they were wrong."

Newsweek reached out to Illustrious-Fall-849 for comment via Reddit chat. We could not verify the details of the case.

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