Are You Losing Your Bond With Your Dog? Keep an Eye Out for These Signs

Dogs are America's most popular pet: recent findings from the American Pet Products Association discovered that more than 65 million households in the U.S. own a dog. Dogs are often called a man's best friend as most dog owners enjoy a warm and loving relationship with their fur babies. But it's not unheard of for an owner and their dog to fall out.

While it goes without saying that a dog will lose trust in its owner if they're not properly cared for and are cast aside, there are other behaviors and approaches that some dog owners are getting wrong which could damage the bond they're trying to build with their pet.

Newsweek spoke with two dog experts to pinpoint exactly what can strain the historically sweet relationship between man and his dog.

Learn About Your Dog

Professional dog trainer and behaviorist Sally Grottini told Newsweek that the biggest factors that instigate relationship breakdowns between dogs and owners are those that create a lack of trust within the dog. The former American Kennel Club (AKC) dog evaluator and service dog trainer now spends the majority of her time providing expertise on JustAnswer.com, answering people's dog questions all over the world.

"Not knowing the dog's temperament or handling it incorrectly can lead to the dog experiencing anxiety," Grottini said. "Many people get a dog due to its looks or breed, and do not take into consideration the dog's temperament."

"Different temperaments can tell you right away what issues your dog may have as they grow up, but an owner that does not recognize this may treat the dog incorrectly and get angry with the dog when that's never warranted. This makes the dog fear the owner and sometimes others in the family," she said.

To prevent the dog from experiencing fear that could break its bond with any owner, Grottini advises owners to research their dog's breed traits and be patient with them if they're known to have anxious or stubborn tendencies.

Leena Chitnis, pet expert and founder and CEO of pet lifestyle firm Timberdog agrees with Grottini. She told Newsweek that harsh or inconsistent responses to a dog "messing up" can really freak them out, and damage the bond they have with the owner.

"Training plays a crucial role in shaping your dog's behavior and strengthening your bond. Using harsh training methods, such as physical punishment or confusing commands, can create fear, mistrust, and confusion in your dog, harming your bond," she said.

Potty Train Correctly

"Incorrect potty training can also strain your dog's bond with you," Grottini said.

This is because a dog needs to trust its owner to meet their needs and to negate any confusion about when and where to go to the toilet.

"Getting a young puppy or even an older dog from a shelter will tell you that potty training can become an issue. Many times, these dogs will end up going potty in the house until you fully potty train them," the behaviorist explained.

For some rescue dogs, this training can take as long as one year, especially if that dog was a breeder dog or had lived in a puppy mill.

"The issue comes when humans show anger with the tone of voice, body language, or negative action such as putting the dog's nose in it. What the owner should be doing is just cleaning the mess up without anger or interaction with the dog," Grottini told Newsweek.

This is the correct approach because dogs rarely understand why their owner is angry—they only come to associate that anger and fear with them and around excrement, so the dog becomes fearful of its owner when it has to go potty.

"This can transition to the dog hiding in different parts of the house to [do] potty to avoid you or even being afraid to go in front of you when outside. If a dog does not trust your reactions, there is no bond," Grottini said.

Dogs can and will make what humans perceive as mistakes—they do not realize what a mistake is because they run on instinct. Mistakes can make the owner very aggravated. If the owner shows anger enough times, the dog won't trust the owner and any bond that has been there previously might be fractured.

Don't Punish Unfairly

Since dogs, especially puppies new to training and learning new patterns, have a hard time understanding if they've done something "wrong," it's damaging to punish them or yell at them if they've made a "mistake." This is also true for older dogs who have been adopted as their history could include abuse or neglect which may not be well known, predisposing them to anxiety.

"If you start out punishing the dog by yelling, hitting, or pushing it down to the floor as if you were another alpha dog, you are starting off wrong and a bond may never begin," Grottini said.

"Dogs know that humans are not dogs, so they don't respond the same when humans try to force dog interactions upon them. All they see is a human being very rough or hurtful and they don't know why," she said.

Dogs should always be taught and redirected, with a reward, instead of being punished as that just won't help them learn and will put them off attempting to learn the same thing again, Grottini said.

"Dogs respond well to positive reinforcement, such as praise, treats, and playtime," Chitnis said.

The pet expert went on to say that negative reinforcement could have a detrimental impact on a dog's ability to bond with its owner, and even encourage them to seek fewer interactions.

Constantly criticizing or punishing a dog without offering positive reinforcement for their moments of good behavior will lead to them feeling demotivated and disconnected from their family.

Go at Your Dog's Pace

It's crucial that dog owners refrain from forcing their dogs into situations or environments that they're not comfortable with. Pushing a pup into a setting that they feel anxious in could lead to them losing trust in their owner and feeling overwhelmed.

"If you picked out the dog that was hiding in the back of its cage because you felt sorry for it, that's fine, but then do not expect that this dog will want to go everywhere the family goes and be around other people," the behaviorist said.

"That dog likely has some inherent fear and forcing it into a situation that it fears will only have the dog lose all trust in the owner," she said.

According to the expert, dogs with fear must be treated very differently than dogs that have a happy-go-lucky temperament and love everything and everyone. If a fearful dog is not treated correctly, you may run into many issues of mistrust which breaks the bond.

Make the Effort

To many dog owners' surprise, some people just fancy getting a dog so they swiftly get one and then proceed to do nothing with it. Dogs are pack animals that crave closeness with their family, but they too require a stimulus to bond with their owner.

"You can't really get a dog and then do nothing with it, so never creating a bond with the pet, to begin with," Grottini said.

Chitnis agreed, arguing that owners should never fail to meet their dogs' needs and make time for all parts of their routine, including walks.

"Neglecting their basic needs like feeding, grooming, and exercise can lead to physical and emotional distress, which can strain your bond with them," she said.

An owner not spending time with their pup or failing to socialize them is one of the worst things they could do, per the pet expert.

"Dogs are social and pack animals, they thrive on positive interactions with both humans and other animals and crave companionship. Failing to socialize your dog properly can lead to fear, anxiety, and behavioral problems that may erode the trust and bond between you," Chitnis said.

Luckily, positive obedience training will both build a bond between an owner and dog and improve their behavior, while helping the owner understand the dog better. If humans remember that dogs run on instinct and, therefore, need to be trained to the meaning of human language, bonds would be built more easily.

Chitnis revealed that her concern isn't just for dogs that don't get walked when the owner is having a busy day, but for dogs that are left alone and isolated for long periods of time.

"Leaving them alone for extended periods without appropriate mental stimulation or human interaction can lead to separation anxiety and loneliness, negatively impacting your bond with them," she said.

Do you have funny and adorable videos or pictures of your pet you want to share? Send them to life@newsweek.com with some details about your best friend and they could appear in our Pet of the Week lineup.