Fury Over Bride and Groom Uninviting Wedding Guest For Asking One Question

A woman has found herself uninvited from her friend's wedding and blocked on social media after questioning the bride and groom's decision to ban children from their big day.

Writing in a post shared to Mumsnet under the handle mrshiddleston69, the unwelcome guest explained she had been unfriended on Facebook and blocked on WhatsApp by the bride after seeking "clarity" on the issue.

While it was once commonplace for kids to attend events like weddings, there is growing evidence that change is afoot. Joy, a digital wedding planning platform, recently conducted a survey of over 1,300 users. They found that 74 percent of respondents felt it was totally normal for couples to want a kid-free wedding.

Jessica Bishop, the editor and owner of The Budget Savvy Bride, a wedding planning website, told Newsweek: "Child-free weddings are increasing in popularity for many reasons. Often, weddings are evening events where alcohol is served, so there are obvious safety concerns about responsible serving practices.

"The couple getting married may choose not to invite children to their wedding in order to create a more luxurious, adult atmosphere," she said. "Having a kid-free event gives parents the night to relax and enjoy themselves without the responsibilities of watching over their little ones." Bishop notes that child-free weddings can also help to reduce costs "not just for meals but for on-site childcare or entertainment specifically for the kids."

However, she acknowledges that it can also be a bone of contention among friends and family. "Couples face tons of pressure from their families and loved ones to plan an event that suits the needs and preferences of others," she said. "It can be challenging to stand firm in your convictions about wanting a child-free wedding when people you love feel hurt, offended, or even betrayed by the decision to exclude children."

In the case of the uninvited guest posting to social media, it's a little more complicated though. When the engagement was first announced, the woman said her friend's fiance called to ask if her 8-year-old daughter would serve as "flower girl" at what was going to be a "destination wedding."

However, a few weeks later, her friend told her that it would be a "no children allowed wedding." This left the woman confused so she decided to ask her friend directly.

The bride apparently became "really defensive" and it subsequently emerged that the "no children" rule also applied to her friend's daughter and she was no longer welcome.

Worse was to come though. Despite the friend saying she actually "preferred it" as a child-free wedding, she was contacted by the bride-to-be and her fiance who said she had "pressed the 'no kids' issue too far and was causing stress."

As a result she was uninvited and both unfriended and blocked on social media. Though she apologized in an email, the response left the woman assuming her former friend "doesn't want me in her life anymore."

Reflecting on the incident, Bishop defended the now-unwanted guest questioning the apparent change of plans.

"The bride wasn't clear and direct in communicating the change in their policy on kids as a whole, and it caused some confusion," she said. "Her friend was perfectly respectful and understanding, and perhaps the bride overreacted out of guilt to avoid taking ownership of her change of mind and how that impacted others."

The bride's behavior drew similar criticism on Mumsnet. "She has treated your daughter appallingly," Mardyface wrote. "I would not contact her again personally." Haydugee agreed, writing: "This woman is no friend," with ANiceBigCupOfTea adding: "I think you have seen her true colors, and she's not a good person."

Bishop concluded: "My advice to couples would be not to make any invitations, promises, or announcements about their plans to include or not include children until the plans are more official."

"It's also best to have a blanket policy rather than just inviting a flower girl and ring bearer, but no other children. That could make things confusing for others and they might be more inclined to feel offended that their children were not allowed when others were," she added.

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.