A grandmother moving a four-hour journey away from her son and family has been slammed online for expecting the family to travel and visit despite having small children who do not travel well.
On the popular discussion site Mumsnet, user ChoccyWoccyHoHa explained that she, her husband, and her elderly father were moving away and asked: "Am I being unreasonable that family should come and see us?"
Family members living further apart are not unusual. In a recent survey of over 2,000 families conducted by OnePoll, it was reported that the average modern family spans roughly 2,077 miles across the world. One in 10 respondents said they have a family member that lives more than 10,000 miles away, and 10 percent of people say they have a family member that they haven't seen in person in over 10 years.
In the post, which has since received hundreds of responses, user ChoccyWoccyHoHa explained: "Myself, my husband, and my elderly dad are moving away very soon. Myself and my husband are nearly 60 and retired. My dad is in his 80s and will be living in assisted living accommodation not far from our new house. Our dream is to pursue our own hobbies and interests in a location we love."
But the move means that the couple will be further away from their son, his wife, and their two children. With two grandchildren, one 3 years old and the other just 10 months old, the poster explained that she was worried they were going to miss out on family time.
"Every time we talk about my son and his family coming up to stay with us they're very non-committal," she explained. "I've offered for our grandchildren to stay without them, but they're not keen. It will be a 3-4 hour journey for them, taking into account their youngest doesn't travel well and will need to stop on route."
Prior to the move, the grandparents explained they were only living 20-25 minutes away and see their family regularly.
"We have been looking after their eldest one afternoon a week while they work but obviously that will be changing," she explained. "We plan to come and stay near them so we can see them so it isn't all on them. But I know they struggle."
"Our son has got various health issues, daughter-in-law had post-natal depression badly and their son is being assessed for special needs," she said. "They moved house themselves quite recently. Both my son and daughter-in-law also work. So maybe the timing isn't great for them, I know their day-to-day life can be hard but we need to think about our own lives and happiness."
After explaining the situation, the grandmother explained she was worried they were not doing the right thing moving and asked Mumsnet users for their opinions: "Am I being unreasonable to think that they should make an effort to see us when we move?"
In over 200 comments, users shared their thoughts, overwhelmingly telling the woman she was being unreasonable to expect her family to make the long journey.
"You've just said they're going through a lot, you haven't even moved yet and you're still moaning that you expect them [to] visit you?" said one commenter. "You are being unreasonable."
Another commenter wrote: "Traveling with young kids is hell, and if they both work I'm guessing this would be limited to weekends. I think the majority of the driving should be on you."
"I wouldn't be wasting a whole weekend regularly to visit people who moved away, sorry," said another reply.
Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.
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