I Went on a Date With So Many Red Flags. He Couldn't Answer My Question

I was traveling in Seattle in 2022 and wanted someone local to explore with. So I agreed to go on a date with a guy via Tinder and we set things up within two hours. He canceled his plans to see me.

It was totally last minute and outside the norm of what I do now, which is in advance, dinner only. He wasn't fully my type, but he was easy enough on the eyes, and funny and normal over our brief chat. I could tell I wouldn't normally go out with this guy based on what he was saying, but I was down for an adventure.

He offered to take me out for burgers and drinks, so I said yes, and when I gave him my address it turned out I was only 15 minutes away from him. But he asked me for $15 gas and tolls money to come and get me.

That was a red flag. Who asks their date for gas money? I laughed it off and didn't send him money.

He still decided to come. Then, when he picked me up, he didn't open the car door for me or wait outside to greet me. I wasn't surprised. On our way in the car, he parked in a random alleyway and told me he and his friends were wondering if my breasts were real.

I told him it was a rude question to ask and he—verbatim—went: "No, I don't think so." That was another red flag.

We arrived at the bar and he got me a drink. We actually had a decent conversation. He shared things about his rich family, their vacation home, and his previous six-figure job that he recently quit—which only adds to the weird part of him acting so broke—and he mentioned coming to visit me in Canada.

Soon, our drinks were empty. I was getting really hungry—this was supposed to be a dinner date after all—and he started insinuating that I should buy him a drink. I thought: Absolutely not.

This was the date after only 10 minutes. I suggested he could get a second round of drinks if he wanted more because, at this point, we were just sitting at a bar with empty glasses, which was kind of strange.

And he made this weird, prolonged noise. Like a long, very extended "UHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and then just silence. Super strange. It seemed like he was hoping that I'd forget I said anything about it.

That odd noise felt like some kind of red flag.

With my drink still empty, and my stomach getting hungrier, he decided at that moment to start showing me a hot dog eating competition he won six years ago. He was very proud of that. We were both sober for this.

He also played Pokémon Go, which I didn't mind too much. It was kind of fun—but a strange time to play it.

I asked if we could get burgers—expecting that we would have a decent meal for our date as planned—and he said McDonald's was right across the street. Yet another red flag.

I was so hungry, so I said yes. But when we got there, the McDonald's was closed. He offered to take me to a "happy hour place for nachos". I don't like nachos, but I said I'm down to go and I'm sure there are other things on the menu.

He then completely ignored this. Maybe he didn't want to pay more money, I don't know. But rather than going elsewhere, he decided to take me to the city viewpoint, which I can only assume this his version of being romantic—and trying to get me alone.

He put on One Direction karaoke and started serenading me. Honestly, I was hyping him up because I love singing.

But whilst my outside showed comfort, I was really just trying to make the best of it so I didn't die or get upset that I went out. I just wanted to go home. I was trying to navigate the situation to keep myself safe and not piss him off.

There were just so many red flags with him.

I realized he wasn't going to feed me so I asked if we could go home. I had to ask him a few times. On our way home, he kept talking about coming to visit me and he was holding my hand. I let him, to keep me safe.

He was saying things like "you don't want me", and talking about how he used to be a f***boy and all these girls and threesomes, and that he could tell I'm not a "hoe".

I thought: Bro, I'm just being polite back.

When we get back to mine in the car, I'm in the passenger seat facing forward. He's in the driver's seat staring right at me. If I move my face, we're kissing. So I'm ignoring his body language, and I even told him before that I don't generally kiss on a first date.

He asked to kiss me and I thought of the only thing I could say to get out of it: I asked him my name.

But he couldn't say it. I took that as my cue to leave. Naturally, he started yelling in front of the whole neighborhood purely because I wouldn't kiss him.

He yelled out: "You're rude!" I said something along the lines of "goodnight" back to not anger him. I didn't feel super threatened because he dropped me off in the neighborhood I was staying in, although not exactly my address.

But before I reached my door, he had already sent me three texts calling me a golddigger and that he drove me everywhere and bought me everything and how I dared to say no to him.

He also mentioned he was upset I didn't buy him a drink back and that we weren't on a date, we were just hanging out.

I said why would I kiss you if we're just hanging out then? He told me to have some respect and that my parents didn't raise me right—simply because I didn't feel comfortable kissing a guy on a first date.

That was something my parents taught me and is generally considered respectful. It's weird how he thought I didn't have respect, but he was the one trying to push my boundaries.

This man is a stand-up comedian—another red flag for me—so I guess we're both sharing the story.

Adiel Grech is a lifestyle and wellness content creator on TikTok and Instagram.

All views expressed are the author's own.

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