Christmas has always been fun for my children and me. It's a tradition for us to decorate the Christmas tree together; we visit a Santa's grotto in the English county of Hertfordshire where we live and eat lots of food. My son, who is 5 years old, and my daughter, who is 7, always get lots of gifts on Christmas day. Usually, they'd be from me, their aunties, uncles, grandmas, and school friends.
Seeing my children open their gifts on Christmas day is always exciting, especially because they're young. I find that young children are easily excitable compared to older children.
Most years, my children would be anticipating Christmas day and would tell me the toys that they liked in advance. Then I would buy those toys for them. For example, my daughter loves plastic dolls, and she also loves to draw, so I would buy her those. Although she would know what gifts she would be getting for Christmas, she would look forward to opening them.
I used to set money aside to buy each of my children Christmas gifts every year, and I would usually buy these gifts in advance as they'd be cheaper. I rarely overspent.
Deciding to reuse old toys
But this year, I decided to do something different. I feel that because my kids are young, beyond the excitement of opening their gifts they don't often appreciate all the toys that we buy as a family. I found that I was trying to take care of the toys that I'd buy my kids for Christmas, gifts that cost between $30 to $100, but my kids would usually forget about them days later. Often, their rooms would be scattered with all these toys. In the end, I felt that buying them more toys for Christmas won't help them to appreciate what they already have.
So, in June 2022, I explained to my children that I would be taking away ten of their old toys and returning them as gifts on Christmas day. They will then give me another ten of their toys, and I will give them back a few months later, in exchange for others.
After that conversation, I packed my children's excess toys into a box and placed them in the shed, so their remaining toys can now fit in a box in their room.
My daughter has lots of little toys that she was gifted on Christmas day last year, and the year before. I found that the more gifts that she had, the less she was able to enjoy all of them. She likes plastic dolls and babies, so her preference hasn't changed, and after I told her about my Christmas plan, she became excited for Christmas day, so that she could play with the toys that I had packed in a box.
Before that, I found that my children were stepping on their toys and breaking them because they had too many. By doing this, I'm trying to teach my children the value that comes with taking care of their things so that they can have them for longer.
Christmas is still the same
In many ways, nothing has really changed when it comes to our Christmases. My children still know the gifts that they will be getting, but this time it is toys they already own, and they are excited to have them back. My daughter can't wait to have some of her baby dolls back on Christmas day.
For my son, the concept is a little different because he's younger, so he has forgotten the toys that he had given to me in the summer of this year. When I give them back to him in the form of Christmas gifts, he's going to be so excited.
I find that children operate with the mentality that if something is out of their sight, it is out of their mind. I think they would prefer to have have ten gifts that they had forgotten about, than one new one. Plus, they may get bored of that new gift straight away.
What works for my family
After sharing my decision online, some people asked if my children believe in Santa Claus and whether my plan may have ruined that for them. But my children know that Santa Claus isn't real; we don't have a chimney, and when they see him at Santa's Grotto at the mall, they know that he is just a man. From a young age, they've known that their grandma, uncle, friends from school, and myself would buy them presents, and they're still happy and excited for Christmas. I know that they will still probably get brand new gifts from their grandma and other relatives this year. My son is currently counting down the days until Christmas!
Another person said that they would never try to give their kids old toys for Christmas because their kids break all the toys that they have. And some people think that it simply isn't a good idea. But it's not for everyone; it just works for my children.
Buying big, extravagant gifts has nothing to do with the amount of joy that a child receives from a toy. I believe that whether it's an expensive game console or a doll, the child will be very excited at first, and then get bored with the gift as time goes on.
I want my children to learn that they're not entitled to expect me to buy them big, new gifts every year. I also want to teach them that their joy should not be tied to them receiving a new item on Christmas day. I want them to find that joy in learning to appreciate the things that they already have and I want them to know that Christmas joy actually comes from the inside.
Elizabeth Buko is a financial coach and the founder of Wealth From Little. You can find out more about her here.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
As told to Newsweek associate editor, Carine Harb.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
