Influencer Shares Secret to Confidence and It's Not 'What You Look Like'

Confidence is attractive. There's no denying it—when someone walks in a room oozing confidence, a natural energy that comes with them that you just can't ignore.

For those on the other end of the confidence spectrum, especially those struggling with self-confidence, getting out of a rut and growing your confidence can be hard to start, unless you've had some tips from an influencer.

If there's one group of people we're willing to bet know a thing or two about confidence, it's influencers, so hearing firsthand from one is a great place to start. If, like most people, you don't know an influencer to ask yourself, Spencer Barbosa has shared her confidence secrets in a TikTok video.

The video, posted April 7, has gained over 202,000 likes and 1.2 million views from users hoping to pick up some tips on growing their confidence.

The 21-year-old content creator and actress, who lives in Toronto, told Newsweek what confidence is to her:

"Confidence is making the choice to love yourself on the good and bad days, embrace your flaws and being proud of yourself," she said.

"I started making choices to help my confidence when I was in high school. I was at such a dark place that I knew I needed to make a change, and there was no way I could continue to feel this way," Barbosa said.

Her confidence shines throughout the video as she shares her top tips for those who are "sick of being insecure." It is "actually way easier than you think," she said.

5 Tips for Becoming More Confident

Confidence Comes From Within

"Confidence has nothing to do with what you look like," Barbosa said. "Being confident is an energy. It is a mindset, and if you rely on what you look like to make you confident, you will never be confident."

She goes on to assert that you are responsible for your own confidence and shouldn't rely on others for a confidence boost. "Your confidence has to come from within. It has to come from you.

"It can't come from male validation, or maybe the guy you like tells you you're beautiful and now you feel confident for a day. Because if somebody can build you up, they can sure as hell break you down," she said.

Fake It Till You Make It

Barbosa knows it "might sound like the worst advice," but playing up your confidence is actually her "best advice".

Putting on a confident mindset each day can do wonders for personal growth. "You need to pretend to be the most confident version of yourself until you literally trick yourself into being the most confident version," she said.

To do this, she recommended working on your body language with four quick changes: "shoulders up, fix your posture, eye contact, smile."

Look at Your Circle

While confidence comes from within, a lack of confidence usually comes from the people around you.

Barbosa explained: "You become exactly who you hang out with. OK?

"So if you have a friend who's low-key praying on your downfall and wants you to feel like s**t about yourself, you're gonna feel like s**t about yourself. Hang out with people who are also confident, people who don't constantly tear themselves down and people who definitely don't tear you down."

Be Your Own Cheerleader

Barbosa puts it simply: "Stop caring so much what other people think about you."

She went on: "Instead of being like: Do they like me? Do they like me? Do you like you? The way that you talk about yourself matters more than, you know, whether you believe me or not.

"Your brain holds on to everything you say. If I tell myself every day that I'm ugly, my body's disgusting and no one's ever gonna love me, guess what? I'm gonna feel ugly, my body's gonna feel disgusting, and nobody's gonna love me because I can't even love myself."

Look at Your Younger Self

Asked for the tip that's had the biggest impact on her confidence, Barbosa told Newsweek about one that "completely changed my life."

This was "printing out a photo of me as a younger kid and putting it on my mirror."

"Every day as I look at myself in the mirror, I see the younger version of me. I would never say mean things to her...so why would I say them to me."