January has a hidden nickname in the legal world: divorce month. That's because of all times in the year, just after the holidays, January sees the most divorces.
Many couples wait until after the family has experienced their one last holiday together, while for others, the stress of the holidays is enough to throw in the towel on the marriage for good.
"After spending an extended period together during the holidays, some couples come to the realization that they no longer wish to continue their relationship," Amy Colton, a certified divorce financial analyst and the founder of Your Divorce Made Simple, told Newsweek. "The holidays can often amplify existing issues or bring underlying problems to light."
While some people are merely uncomfortable proceeding with a divorce during or right before the holidays, others hold out hope that maybe the holiday season will turn things around. Many simply want to avoid telling their friends and family why their spouse is missing at the Christmas dinner table.
"Some people are using the holiday season to test how they feel, and then realize that even with all the spirit and joy of the holiday season, they're still unhappy and they do not want to spend the next holiday season in the same relationship," Kessler & Solomiany family lawyer Randall Kessler said.
The new year also symbolizes a fresh start for many who are tired of trying to make a dying marriage work.
"It's New Year's," family lawyer Ken Jewell at Jewell Law told Newsweek. "Many people view the New Year as an opportunity to clear out what does not work for them including marriages. It's the New Year's resolution idea. Fresh year. Fresh start."
There are some financial benefits to filing for divorce in January, too. The month serves as a time of financial planning for many, so you can more easily calculate how the divorce will hit you in the wallet.
"Calendar years fit tax years and financial planning, so January is a new financial slate and a time to make a break," divorce attorney Julia Rueschemeyer told Newsweek.
But is January actually always the best time to file for a divorce?
According to lawyers, it's not that simple.
"The answer, for me, is when you are absolutely certain that this relationship will not work, and that things have the potential of being much better for both of you if a divorce happens," Kessler said. "There are no 'preferred' dates or times of the year to file for divorce."
In some cases, you might want to file more quickly, such as if one partner is moving and you want custody resolved before the next school year. Or, if someone is recovering from a serious sickness, it often is best to wait until they're on their feet again.
Women Divorce Men Most of the Time
Across the board, women are more likely to file for divorce than men, initiating roughly 70 percent of divorces. Divorce lawyers say the final straw often comes after years of emotional dissatisfaction and a desire for greater independence or fulfillment.
Rueschemeyer said January into February is always her busiest time, and she often sees women initiate the divorce.
"I think the holidays are a tipping point for many women," Rueschemeyer said. "From Thanksgiving through Christmas, they do the emotional labor of buying gifts, arranging visits with family, cooking, decorating, house preparation, and attending to children and relatives. It's a rewarding time for wives, but highly stressful and the asymmetrical distribution of labor really jumps out."
Today, around 40 percent of first marriages end in divorce. But the key to avoiding a rupture of your partnership is to stay away from complacency, according to marriage counselor Ronald Hoang.
"That's when you bring the best part of yourself to work or out with friends and you bring the leftovers home, or when you take more care of the car than you do the relationship. People take relationships for granted - they think they've had their first kiss, shared their vows, bought a home together and started a family, that they're "doing" a relationship," Hoang told Newsweek.
"But relationships aren't a checklist to mark off one item at a time. Relationships are like plants, it requires time, effort and continued care in order to flourish."
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Suzanne Blake is a Newsweek reporter based in New York. Her focus is reporting on consumer and social trends, spanning ... Read more
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