New Twine game You Are Jeff Bezos opens identically to Franz Kafka's novella The Metamorphosis, with one key difference. "When you wake up this morning from unsettling dreams, you find yourself changed in your bed into a monstrous vermin," it begins. "You are Jeff Bezos."
The premise is simple: "Jeff Bezos's employees are now your employees. His money is now your money. Nothing you say or do will convince anyone you are not Jeff Bezos."
What do you do?
Structured as a choose-your-own adventure, You Are Jeff Bezos tasks players with deciding how to apportion Bezos's vast wealth, demonstrating in the process the inherent immorality in being a billionaire and the vast, private power they hold in the United States. Instead of RPG stats, you have a single, immense number: Bezos's "Current Worth," pegged at $156 billion at the game's opening.
Every decision you make is colored by this vast wealth. Even going to the bathroom results in your fortune expanding, as you make $540,000 in nine minutes of pooping as Bezos. "That's more than nine times an American's average annual salary and 20 times the median salary of an Amazon employee," You Are Jeff Bezos helpfully points out, offering only one response: "Jesus Christ."
You Are Jeff Bezos doesn't so much nudge you, as shove you into spending "all his fucking money." The options are stark reminders of public good we forsake in refusing to redistribute wealth:
Created by gaming journalist Kris Ligman of Critical Distance, You Are Jeff Bezos targets the Amazon CEO specifically, but also critiques the entire concept of billionaires, regardless of whether or not they've signed The Giving Pledge. The central thesis of the game is simple: "in a world of such wealth as ours, for a select few to hold onto the vast majority of that wealth—whether they "earned" it or not—while others starve is neglecting our moral duty to one another."
You can play You Are Jeff Bezos now.
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