Jim Harbaugh's Animated Idol Wouldn't Love the Allegations Against Michigan

Children's television is theoretically designed to teach its viewers a lesson. Beneath the fun storylines and the colorful images, there's usually a moral.

When it comes to SpongeBob SquarePants, though, it seems like Jim Harbaugh missed the memo.

"I love his attitude, he attacks each day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind," Harbaugh said in 2016. "I model my behavior by him. What a great employee he is. He is a go-getter, he's always got a bounce in his step. He's got pizzazz, he puts his heart and soul into making those patties. I think he's awesome."

As you may have heard, the Michigan Wolverines have found themselves in the NCAA's crosshairs again, this time for potentially stealing signs. And, given that the coach has already served a self-imposed suspension, this scenario probably wouldn't sit well with the person (sponge?) whom he models his behavior after.

Let's take a deeper dive (pun largely intended).

Harbaugh's Michigan Program in Spotlight Again

When you're the coach of a big-time NCAA football program, you're going to be in the spotlight. Harbaugh, however, wasn't hoping for this sort of attention.

A recent Yahoo Sports report said the Wolverines are being investigated "for allegedly violating rules that prohibit teams from scouting, in person, future opponents." The issue at hand reportedly boils down to "whether Michigan used unnamed individuals to attend games of both scheduled opponents and possible College Football Playoff opponents in an effort to gather information on the signs they use to call both offensive and defensive plays."

The head coach, for his part, had a straightforward response.

"I do not have any knowledge or information regarding the University of Michigan football program illegally stealing signals, nor have I directed any staff member or others to participate in an off-campus scouting assignment," Harbaugh said in a statement.

He also said that he didn't "condone or tolerate anyone doing anything illegal or against NCAA rules."

But that's just the latest strike against the Wolverines.

Michigan self-imposed a suspension on its head coach, banning him from the sideline for the first three games of the season. That move stems from "alleged violations during the COVID-19 dead period," and it's intended to head off future punishment from the NCAA, according to ESPN's Adam Rittenberg.

"Harbaugh faces a Level I violation, which would be for not cooperating with or misleading NCAA investigators about the alleged violations," Rittenberg wrote.

"A source familiar with the case told [ESPN's Pete Thamel] that Michigan's decision to self-impose the three-game suspension of Harbaugh is indicative of the severity of the eventual potential ruling against Harbaugh," according to Rittenberg. "It's a move that shows the school is trying to essentially curry favor for good behavior, a source told Thamel, and mitigate some of the eventual punishment."

What Does SpongeBob Have to Do With Michigan?

Given that Harbaugh said that he models his behavior after the one and only sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea, it's fair to compare their respective actions.

And, thankfully, we do have a concrete example of what happens when SpongeBob tries to cheat.

In an early episode of the series, the character attempts to finally pass his boating school exam with a bit of help. He sticks a walkie-talkie inside his head, covers the antenna with a hat and is fed the answers during the test. All is going well until the instructor, Mrs. Puff, jokes that SpongeBob has a radio hidden in his head.

"But that would be cheating," she adds.

At that point, things hit home for SpongeBob. He begins to break down and admits to everything. He becomes so upset that he crashes his boat, sending Mrs. Puff away in an ambulance. The episode then concludes with the character vowing to do better next time.

SpongeBob went along with his less than ideal behavior until he was confronted with the idea that it was cheating. At that point, the dam broke. If anything, he was too immediately repentant. But, at the heart of the matter, the character realized his mistake and owned up to it.

Let's circle back to Ann Arbor.

One investigation, let alone two, would have prompted some reflection by our cartoon sponge. Furthermore, regardless of how things play out, being under investigation while awaiting punishment for another violation is a bad look. Rightly or wrongly, perception often becomes reality. That's especially true in sports, where slights, real or perceived, are rarely forgotten by opposing fans.

If the episode is any indication, SpongeBob wouldn't be able to take that. The suggestion that he was a cheater immediately cracked his facade. He would want to set things right ASAP, even if that meant failing his test and remaining without a boating license.

In fairness to Harbaugh, the sign-stealing scandal is a relatively new story. He's denied that he has any knowledge of the situation and emphasized that he wouldn't tolerate a violation of NCAA rules. The investigation could very well find that nothing untoward ever took place.

But, if there is something wrong in Michigan, a certain animated sponge has shown how to handle that sort of situation.