Secret Ingredient in Krabby Patty? Cocaine! Says Internet

2019 has already asked brought some great memes into the internet hivemind, like Big Chungus and Mafia City, but there's another inane, twisted piece of media to add to the list: the Krabby Patty secret formula uses cocaine. For those born before SpongeBob SquarePants changed the modern television landscape , this might seem a bit confusing. The average children's show can have a few raunchy jokes thrown in the mix (Rocko having berries grabbed in Rocko's Modern Life) but nevera full-blown drug ring.

With all of the mayhem in our daily lives, we look to our childhoods to add a sense of comfort to the unknown. No matter what changes, Spongebob Squarepants will still have been a show that helped teach millions of us about friendship, kindness and what an overzealous fast food employee can accomplish. But Twitter user catlumley went a step deeper, posting a video of her research into what, exactly, is in the Krabby Patty Secret formula.

According to the video, the secret ingredient that Mr. Krabs has hidden from Plankton from all these years is actually "Poseidon Power." Look up the term on Urban Dictionary and you'll find the that the term refers to cocaine. The king of the sea could use a bit of a pick me up every once in awhile. This 35-second clip has been viewed more than five million times and has blown the minds of fans everywhere.

Suddenly the whole show and everyone’s actions within it make sense

— Iyanna🌊 (@iyannajpeg) January 12, 2019

Mr. Krabs is one of the cheapest scoundrels in the Seven Seas, it really wouldn't make sense for him to be dropping premium dollar just to Bikini Bottom hooked on his product. Still, it does seem like Krabs has a monopoly on tasty fast food, with the Chum Bucket barely surviving across the street. If Krabs really wanted to have a stranglehold on the market, the best way would be to get his base hooked with no chance of finding another burger joint. (It worked for Coca-Cola).

Krabby pattys do seem to be highly addictive. In the Spongebob episode "Just One Bite" Squidward proclaims that he's never tried a Krabby Patty before. The yellow sponge then spends the rest of the episode's running time trying to convince (or trick) the squid man into biting into a delicious patty. Eventually he caves and has his taste buds blown away, causing him to eat as many as he can from the Krusty Krab's freezer. I'm not sure how tasty cocaine is when mixed in with pickles, but it sure as hell can be addicting.

Uncommon Knowledge

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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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Steven Asarch is a tech reporter for Newsweek currently based in New York City. In high school, he started stand-up ... Read more

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