Welcome to the world of Gollum J. Trump, where Hillary Clinton is Hillbo Clintonses; Barack Obama is Obamaborns; Medicaid is Magicaid; Bernie Sanders is Stinky Bernifur; and Make America Great Again is Make America Precious Again.
A Twitter account run by an East Coast social worker with about 12,000 followers, Gollum J. Trump satirizes President Trump by reimagining his words from the mouth of the most interesting character in The Lord of the Rings. (For non-fantasy fans who haven't read the books or seen the movies, Gollum is a pale and sneaking creature who speaks in a disjointed and idiosyncratic manner and lusts after a powerful ring that he calls "my precious.")
"The words that Trump uses, the repetition of certain words and phrases, are similar to the way Gollum constantly talks about filthy Hobbitses," said Ryan, the creator of the account, who asked that only his first name be used to avoid bringing attention to himself or his employer.
"There's this accusatory style where it's everybody else's fault, it's not mine, everybody is against us.… You can imagine Gollum really shouting those things."
Ryan, whose work involves helping people affected by cuts in Medicaid, follows what Trump says during press conferences and interviews and on Twitter, then reimagines what the points would sound like if made by Gollum.
When Trump on Monday tweeted, "The Democrats have become nothing but OBSTRUCTIONISTS, they have no policies or ideas. All they do is delay and complain. They own ObamaCare!," Gollum J. Trump retweeted him under the comment, "Hobbitses is nothing but WICKED BURGLARISTS, they has no precious or brains! All they does is thieve and cries! Obamagorn plans their faults!"
And when Trump tweeted June 20, "Democrat Jon Ossoff, who wants to raise your taxes to the highest level and is weak on crime and security, doesn't even live in district," Gollum J. Trump was quick to tweet, "Hobbitses Jon Ossoffoot, who wants to raise fish taxes to bigliest level and is weak on burglaring precious, doesn't even lives in realm!" (In Lord of the Rings, Gollum enjoys eating fish.)
Other tweets reference conflicts between the president and federal courts or Congress.
"Wicked, tricksy Courtses! So FALSE! So WICKED! We hateses them! They wants us to lose THE PRECIOUS! Hobbitses Ban- We NEEDS it! Too risky!" Gollum J. Trump tweeted June 5. "Councils should switch to fiftedy one voteses nows, and get Preciouscare & FISH TAX plans proved! Fastly! Hobbitses would does it, we knows!" the account tweeted May 30.
Ryan says started reading the Lord of the Rings books when he was about 12 years old and has done Gollum impressions since the movies came out. A friend suggested the idea of combining Trump with his Gollum impressions after he used his impressions to deliver classic lines in movies like Dirty Harry and Home Alone.
He writes the tweets on his phone and makes use of his knowledge of Middle Earth—the world where author J.R.R. Tolkein set his novels—but also consults the Lord of the Rings Wiki page to do research when he wants something like a specific place name. Since he started the account in August 2016, Ryan has enjoyed bringing humor to the political war zone that is Twitter.
He does acknowledge, though, that his politics and what he thinks of Trump are pretty clear from the tweets of Gollum J. Trump.
"The precious is Trump's brand, his approval and what people think of him," says Ryan, who thinks Trump stumbled onto his wealth and success much the way that Gollum happened to find the mighty ring, and that Trump fears losing his power or seeing his brand tarnished the same way Gollum once feared losing his precious. "The Democrats, the filthy hobbitses, want to take that away from him."
Uncommon Knowledge
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Josh Saul is a senior writer at Newsweek reporting on crime and courts. He previously worked for the New York ... Read more
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