Man Cheered for Why He Sabotaged Female Colleague's First Date

They say you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, but one co-worker has been praised for getting involved in his co-workers dating life.

A viral Reddit post with 8,100 upvotes titled: "AITA for 'cheating my coworker out of a free meal" explains a woman's way of getting to eat in fancy establishments without paying.

User u/notyourcustodian wrote that his co-worker Lydia, 24, uses dating apps to "lure guys to buying her expensive dinners at restaurants"—and then ghosts them.

He wrote: "I can't stand this because it's playing with people's hearts, but Lydia thinks of it as a life hack to try food or drinks she otherwise couldn't afford."

Recently, his widowed friend Daniel, 32, decided it was time to move on after losing his wife a few years ago so he joined dating sites. It wasn't long until he came across Lydia and found out she works with his friend.

Naturally, he got in touch to find out more about Lydia. The Redditor advised Daniel against meeting up with his co-worker.

"Daniel's a very sweet guy, and I really want him to find a great lady for him," the Redditor wrote.

"[I] made it very clear to him he would do best to drop things with her early on. Daniel said he'd probably still do the date but ask for separate checks."

The following Monday, Lydia turned up to work and was "very upset" with how her date ended. Daniel stayed true to his word and she had to pay $70 to cover her part of the bill.

"She was almost in tears at work as she didn't expect to pay for it and now her car was low on gas," the poster wrote, saying that Lydia asked him if he was responsible for Daniel's choice to split the bill.

"I got a little upset too as she tried to use my friend as a literal meal ticket, but somehow she doesn't see it that way," he wrote.

"So now Lydia's mad at me because I told someone about her little tactic and it backfired on her. I don't feel like I did anything wrong since it was a grieving friend I was protecting but some other people we work with said I should have stayed out of it because it was none of my business."

Tina Wilson, a relationship expert and founder of the dating app Wingman told Newsweek that it's unfair to have a tactic like Lydia's as it negatively affects the other party.

She advises singletons to always select items that they're willing to pay for and never go on a date with the expectation that someone else will foot the bill.

"In this particular situation, the friend was simply looking out for someone, but the coworker who dates for a free meal took offense because her tactic didn't work this time round," Wilson said.

"The coworker evidently has a reputation for dating solely for free meals, and in this case, the friend who went on the date with her, despite being forewarned of her intentions, may have been testing her based on the information he had. Since he was re-entering the dating scene after losing his partner, it's natural for him to be cautious and gradually regain confidence.

"His choice to order the cheapest item on the menu, rather than simply splitting the bill evenly as a gesture of politeness, suggests that he wanted to expose her tactics and set an example."

Wilson continued: "While first dates and early dating stages naturally involve uncertainties as both individuals are getting to know each other, intentionally ghosting someone and repeating this behavior, similar to what the lady (Lydia) is doing, is unacceptable and will just keep hurting people without a care for the consequences."

The Redditor has been inundated with support messages and the top comment alone has 10,000 upvotes.

It said: "NTA, her luck finally ran out. I question why Daniel still went ahead with the date after you clued him in, unless it was to show her up, in which case, fair play, it's my kind of petty."

"She chose the restaurant, not him. Because she didn't just want a free meal, she wanted an expensive free meal," another user said.

A third commenter said: "NTA. She did this to herself. You didn't 'cheat her' out of anything. Her shameful ruse didn't work. If she can't afford her food, then she shouldn't go to the restaurant. You did what was right and protected your friend from a scammer. The people saying you did wrong are people with opinions not worth caring about."

Newsweek reached out to u/notyourcustodian for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.