Gymgoer Getting Man Banned for Using Machine Longer Than 1 Minute Backed

A man whose gym membership was revoked after he "started yelling" at a woman who asked if he could get off a machine so she could use it has received a storm of criticism on Reddit.

In a post shared on Reddit's Am I the A****** (AITA) subforum under the username JonesBlair555, the 35-year-old woman said she recently joined a gym near her home where the workout time in the circuit area is limited to one minute per machine. "There are signs posted clearly, there is a timer on a screen on the wall," she wrote.

One day at the gym, the poster said, a man appeared to be using a machine for more than the one-minute limit. When she "pointed out the rule sign and timer," he allegedly "started yelling" at her.

After being "quite shaken at being screamed at by a grown man in a public place," she sent the gym an email "complaining about the man." The gym later revoked his membership.

The user asked, "AITA for getting someone banned from the gym over 1 minute of workout?"

Etiquette expert Jules Hirst told Newsweek that the man's reaction was "rude and abusive." Certified life coach Dawna Jarvis agreed and told Newsweek that "the man's aggressive response and subsequent ban were a result of his own behavior."

Man using workout machine at a gym.
A stock image shows a man using a workout machine at a gym. A man whose gym membership was revoked after he allegedly began "yelling" at a woman who asked to access the machine he... iStock / Getty Images Plus

A July 2022 study published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Interpersonal Violence said that "while aggression often occurs in response to provocation-induced anger, this relationship may be stronger for men."

The study said women may be more likely to engage in "non-aggressive (e.g., affiliative) behaviors in response to provocation, particularly at low-level provocation."

The study's findings suggested that while "men and women may be equally aggressive in certain situations, this behavior may be differentially associated with anger."

The woman in the Reddit post said she used some of the other machines, hoping the man would be done with the one she needed by the time she was finished. When she saw that he wasn't, she asked him "if he could move for just one minute" so she could "finish up." But he refused to comply.

She explained that she just needed that one machine to complete her workout, but he refused again. He later allegedly began "yelling" at her, "saying he'd been a member however many years and no newbie was going to come in and tell him what he can and can't use, and called me some names I won't repeat."

The poster said the man "eventually" moved on after she called over a gym staff member, who told him to move. After receiving her email and reviewing the security footage, the gym revoked the man's membership.

Every Action Has a Consequence

Hirst, who is the co-author of The Power of Civility, said: "Rules are made to be followed, and nobody should be excluded from that."

She said the man's reaction to the poster's request to use the machine for one minute was "rude and abusive, especially since he was in the wrong."

She explained: "His actions caused his membership to be revoked, not the actions of the woman. Every action has a consequence, and this man had his membership revoked for his lack of civility."

'Aggressive Response' Grounds for Ban

Jarvis said the man's "aggressive response" and subsequent ban were due to his "inability to respond appropriately to a polite request."

She said it is the gym management's responsibility to ensure the safety and comfort of the members. "If they deemed his aggressive response as grounds for a ban, it is likely that they made the decision with the best interest of their members in mind," the life coach said.

'Toxic Behavior'

Several users on Reddit shared messages of support for the original poster, criticizing the man for his "toxic" actions.

User SamSpayedPI said the poster is "NTA [not the a******]," noting that the ban "wasn't over 'one minute of workout.' It was over him screaming at you and calling you names." The comment got over 10,000 upvotes.

User Miserable-Living9569 wrote: "You didn't get him banned, his...toxic behavior got him banned."

User jsting said: "No gym owner wants a single guy who chooses to cause a scene and scare away other gym members," in a comment that received over 5,000 upvotes.

User Shprintze613 wrote: "Good for you and I'm happy the gym backed you. He must have really raised his voice if they saw it on the camera. Sorry you went through that but this idiot wouldn't have learned otherwise. NTA."

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.

Do you have a similar dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured in Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Soo Kim is a Newsweek reporter based in London, U.K. She covers various lifestyle stories, specializing in travel and health. 

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