Man Banning Sister-in-Law Showering With Her Husband Under His Roof Slated

A woman has been dragged online for telling her sister to stop taking showers with her own husband.

The post on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA****** forum, u/throwaway22314157 has received over 17,000 upvotes and thousands of comments.

The Redditor explained: "My sister and her husband moved in with us two days ago after they lost their apartment to medical debts for their child. My husband and I are more than happy for them to stay for a few weeks until they get this resolved."

But one evening, an argument had ensued when the Redditors husband rushed in and told his wife that he had seen both the sister and her husband walking out of the bathroom.

Sisters argue and shower inlay
A picture of two sisters arguing, and a close-up of a shower head, inlay. The internet has slammed a woman for telling her sister not to shower with her own husband. Tanut Nitkumhan/Deagreez/Getty Images

"They'd most likely taken a shower together," said the poster. "My husband said that it irked him and I agreed that what they did was somewhat inappropriate. He asked me to speak to my sister on the matter, and I did."

"It is common as people often want to impose their morality on others," Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, a psychologist, sex and intimacy coach, told Newsweek.

Later that day, the woman explained that she spoke to her sister who was not receptive to the conversation: "She got defensive, asking how this is affecting me or my husband in any way. I told her that it made my husband feel uncomfortable and would rather that they just take their showers separately. She started ranting about being overwhelmed by their son's health problems and not having some alone time together as a married couple and found this activity as a bonding time to spend together," wrote the Redditor.

The sisters continued to argue about the incident and the poster explained that her sister had stopped speaking to her as a result.

Taking to the internet for advice, she asked if she was wrong to confront her sister like this—and Redditors overwhelmingly told her that she was "the a******."

"Unless they were loudly banging, why do you care? There's nothing weird or untoward by a couple showering together," said one commenter.

Another Redditor said: "Let me see if I've got this straight. Their child is so ill they've lost their home to cover his treatment... And you freak out because they walked out of the bathroom together?"

"In my opinion, it is unreasonable," said Bisbey. "They were not obviously being sexual where others could see or hear. They exited the bathroom fully clothed. As long as they did not block the only bathroom for an inordinate amount of time, it is none of their business."

Another Redditor said: "Your house, your rules, and the bathroom is a communal space, so you're not wrong to set this boundary. However, ... I also do understand the need for privacy for a little intimacy, even if it's not completely sexual ... which I'm guessing they aren't getting while staying in your guest room."

Bisbey suggested that it is important to negotiate boundaries for everyone in joint living situations: "Make sure that everyone has some private space and private time," she explained.

"Recognize that physical intimacy is an integral part of a relationship and make sure that it is possible to engage in sexual activity without disturbing others in the household. This might mean putting in soundproofing for example or giving a couple a room away from people who might be disturbed."

Newsweek reached out to u/throwaway22314157 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Alice Gibbs is a Newsweek Senior Internet Trends & Culture Reporter based in the U.K. For the last two years ... Read more

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