Man Admitting He's 'Devastated' Over Baby's Gender Sparks Fierce Debate

A dad who was hoping for a son has stunned Reddit users with his dramatic overreaction after discovering he will have a daughter.

In a viral post shared by Reddit user u/Leading_Gene4976 on August 10, the man wrote that he and his wife are expecting their first child. Although he wasn't able to attend the early scans, he was really hoping it would be a boy.

The poster's wife attended the scans with her own mom, and although they found out that it was a girl, they allowed the Reddit user to believe they were expecting a boy nonetheless.

The post reads: "In my absence, my wife and her adopted mother attended the check-ups. Upon my return, she excitedly told me we were having a boy. We invested emotionally and financially: a blue nursery, boy-themed items, even naming him after my late grandfather."

The poster was completely overjoyed to think he was getting a son after he had suffered a difficult relationship with his own dad. The man wrote on the Reddit post that he had always envisioned having a loving bond with a boy of his own one day, and that his wife "was aware of this deep-rooted desire."

However, that dream came crashing down when the dad-to-be heard a remark being made about them having a girl instead.

"My wife admitted she knew from the beginning but didn't tell me, thinking she was protecting my feelings," the poster wrote. "I was devastated, feeling the weight of past hurts and fresh betrayals. In my pain, I cleared out the nursery and, in a moment I regret, told her mother she wasn't welcome at upcoming family events, seeing her as part of the deceit."

The complex situation has astounded many, leaving lots of people wondering why the wife would lie about something as big as their baby's gender. Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, a clinical psychologist and intimacy coach, told Newsweek that lying is never going to help a scenario. In this case, it was a clear betrayal from the wife.

Bisbey, from London, said: "I have no idea why the wife would decide to lie. Lying is almost always destructive to a relationship. The poster overreacts by completely banning the mother-in-law, but his feelings are understandable as she colluded in the lies. She did betray his trust as well."

Bisbey's advice is for the wife and mother to apologize sincerely for their behavior and be nothing but transparent moving forward.

"They must be willing to explore why they lied, and what they were hoping to gain. It may be that couples work, or some family work, will be needed before trust is restored," Bisbey added.

Following the shock discovery, the poster admits that he acted out of past traumas and regrets what he did. However, as it was his wife who lied to begin with, many Reddit users have been conflicted by the situation.

Since the post was shared, it has received more than 17,000 votes, and over 6,500 comments in a matter of days. Many comments insist that, while the poster's wife shouldn't have lied, his reaction certainly went too far.

One post reads: "I cannot imagine why she thought it would be less painful for you to think you were having a boy and then disappoint you later. Getting your hopes up accomplishes nothing. That said...you very much did overreact in clearing out the nursery and disinviting her mother from coming over."

Another user responded: "If she knows his feelings (which need to be worked out), what did she think was going to happen when the baby comes out? Naming their child after his grandfather is extra cruel."

Newsweek reached out to u/Leading_Gene4976 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Update 08/22/23, 10:35 a.m. ET: This article was updated with a new photo.

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