Man Discovers How His Neurodiverse Wife Falls Asleep, Loses It in Response

When you're trying to fall asleep, what do you think about? Are you counting sheep or perhaps dreaming about that vacation you're planning to take this summer?

Falling asleep is easy for some, especially after a busy day, and they doze off as soon as their head hits the pillow. But spare a thought for Rebecca James, 38, from Augusta, Georgia, who lies in bed for a couple of hours before her body starts to wind down and is plagued by annoying songs and a narrator's voice in her head.

After 13 years together, Rebecca's husband, Adam James, 39, had often wondered why she was always so tired, but a recent social anxiety and autism diagnosis made it much clearer. He told Newsweek that learning about the effects of neurodivergence and sleep disturbance "was all completely new," but he's glad to finally understand more about the difficulties his wife faces.

Adam continued: "When going to sleep, I'm usually quite drowsy, so once it's dark and I'm still, I'm asleep. For the most part, I don't awake fully again until morning. But Becca lays in bed for one or two hours. When the lights are turned off, no matter how tired her body is, her mind will continue as if it's daytime.

"Many times, the thoughts are anxious about the future, or if the stove was left turned on, or if the doors are locked. Her best sleep occurs from before sunrise to mid-morning when her body and mind may actually calm down together," he said.

How Does Neurodiversity Affect Sleep?

Neurodiversity describes the varied ways in which people experience and perceive the world around them and build relationships. It can present difficulties, such as disorganization or sensory problems, but neurodiverse individuals can also have strengths when it comes to productivity, innovation and quality, according to the National Institutes of Health.

It's thought that 15 to 20 percent of the world's population shows signs of neurodivergence, which can include attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism spectrum disorder or dyslexia.

It isn't uncommon for people with autism to experience problems sleeping, and the Sleep Foundation says that nearly 80 percent of adults with autism have some sort of disturbance. This may include resisting their bedtime, having trouble falling asleep, a restless sleep and waking up very early.

Sleep problems may be due to behavioral, social, environmental or health factors, but there are ways to try to get a better night's rest. The Sleep Foundation encourages people to stick to a consistent sleep schedule. Also, keep the area dark, do not use any electronic devices for an hour before bed, keep noise levels low and get outside during the day for some physical exercise.

Learning to Live With It

Following the diagnosis, Rebecca and Adam managed to find the humor in the situation, and they took to TikTok (@studiesshow) to reveal the different ways their brains wind down for the night. Since the clip was posted on February 16, it has been viewed more than 21.7 million times and gained over 2.4 million likes.

In the clip, Rebecca shares the frustrating song that goes through her head at night and explains what the narrator usually tells her to do, which left her husband in stitches.

The video has certainly delighted many, but Adam also hopes to "raise awareness and normalize the discussion about neurodivergence" by sharing it. He had no idea his wife had so much going on in her mind during the night, but with such an overwhelming response online, he's come to realize how many other people also experience it.

"I had never been close to anyone with any sort of mental health issue, neurodivergence or sleep disturbance. The more detail she shared, the more I marveled that this was her day-to-day experience. It was no wonder she was usually tired," Adam told Newsweek.

"The reaction has been absolutely shocking, and there are so many people around the world who also experience these things," he continued. "It's powerful when people feel seen, and exchanging that information through the internet means that we can now be aware of shared experience without limits."

The clip has drawn 74,900 comments so far, with many people keen to share their own similar experiences. One comment reads: "My brain has full blown conversations when I try to sleep."

Another person responded: "I never knew that some people don't have an inner narrator until my bf told me he doesn't have that."

And another wrote: "My brain completely shuts down! I thought it'd be the same for everyone!"

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