Man Divorcing Wife After Learning About Her 'Wild Years in College' Backed

A father-of-two has filed for divorce from his wife of 20 years after discovering the truth about her "wild years in college."

In a post shared to Reddit under the handle u/ParticularLibrary618, a 43-year-old man described how an "honest conversation" with his wife led to him learning the truth about their relationship and realizing that they could no longer be together.

Cheating is prevalent in America. In 2022, a YouGov poll of 2,000 U.S. adults found that 54 percent of those who have ever been in a monogamous relationship say they had been cheated on—either physically, emotionally or both.

Infidelity might have led this particular man to file for divorce, but the circumstances surrounding his wife's unfaithfulness were a little more complicated than most.

Writing in the Reddit post, the man explained how he first started dating his wife in high school and carried on a "long distance" relationship during college. They married soon after graduation and he admits their life together has been "pretty great" up until now.

Things took a turn when some of his wife's college friends came to visit after Christmas. During a conversation with one of her roommates, he heard his wife mention that they "met" in high school rather than "dated."

One of her friends was then heard to remark that it was "crazy that we met in high school, had a few wild years in college, then ended up together."

At another point, one of the group started to tell a story involving his wife but she "cut her off and said she was uncomfortable about it." During dinner, the husband decided to tell every how they "actually started dating in high school" and were together for his wife's "entire time at college."

"All of my wife's friends got real quiet and the rest of the dinner was awkward," he said. "On the way out, one of her other roommates took me aside and said I should have 'an honest conversation' about what happened at college."

That honest conversation followed the next day. Pressing his wife for information, he learned that she had slept with "at least 10 different men including at least three guys she introduced to me to as friends."

"She said she didn't consider it a big deal at the time because we were long distance and she didn't think a high school romance would last," he said.

He also discovered that they are still in contact with one of the men she slept with during this time. That proved to be the final straw, with the man deciding to file for divorce soon after.

It's a decision both his and his wife's family are urging him to reconsider, saying it's wrong to "throw away" their marriage over a "few mistakes."

He remains unmoved though. "Cheating on me with multiple men for years is unacceptable no matter when it happened and the fact that she continued to maintain relationships with these guys right in front of me was an unacceptable amount of disrespect," he said. "We have two children, but they are 17 and 19 and I believe they will understand why I need to end the marriage."

Commenting on the situation, Nona Kelly, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Thriveworks, a mental health company offering in-person and online therapy services nationwide, told Newsweek: "The kind of betrayal identified here is so devastating. One often feels like they can't believe anything from their relationship was real."

"One thing stands out and that is the fact that the wife has shown very little remorse if any at all," she added. "She has continued to remain dismissive of what she has done. If she were proactive about saving the marriage, such as getting into individual therapy and couples, the marriage may be salvaged."

Ultimately, she felt that unless the wife changed her approach to the situation, there was not much in the way of scope for reconciliation. "When such a devastating breakdown of the relationship has occurred and there is no actual admission of wrongdoing from the adulterer, it leads to having a difficult decision to make by the person who was wronged," Kelly said. "The only way I can see the marriage being saved is if she is willing to be completely honest about their entire marriage and communicate a personal plan of accountability."

Others on Reddit, however, were less forgiving of the wife's actions.

"She cheated and lied to you then maintained contact," one user wrote. "That is not only dishonest but cruel... Who knows what else she's done." Another commented: "I could see the excuse of they were young and in college and she did something dumb, but to have her husband meet those guys and have one of them still in her life is the nail in the coffin for me."

A third, meanwhile, added: "She decided to cheat on this man thinking he would never find out. So basically their whole relationship has been nothing but lies."

Newsweek reached out to u/ParticularLibrary618 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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