Man Dumping 'Bully' Fiancee After Hearing What She Said to His Ex Applauded

A man who ended his engagement after overhearing his fiancee "bullying" his ex-girlfriend about her weight has been applauded online.

Most Americans are conscious of how much they weigh and the need to shed a few excess pounds. A 2023 poll of 2,000 U.S. adults conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Nutrisystem found 95 percent had tried to lose weight at some point in the previous five years.

Conversely, given that level of awareness, most would probably be upset were someone to point out they had gained a few pounds.

One such instance was detailed in a Reddit post by a man who overheard his fiancee mocking his ex, Sarah, for putting on weight, during a chance meeting at a housewarming party.

Writing under the handle u/cChance_Digc, he explained: "Sarah was there which set my fiancée on edge and I noticed that but I didn't say anything because she's an adult." He said he later overheard his fiancee "laughing" and telling Sarah "OMG you are so fat now."

"It made me ick," the man said. When he confronted his fiancee about what she said she "laughed" and said "Sarah did look like she gained weight." He was later told that his fiancee often "bullied" Sarah in this way, in a revelation that proved to be the final straw.

"I don't want to be married to a bully," he wrote. "I tried talking and discussing why it wasn't ok with my fiancée but she was brushing it off, not seeing any problems."

He therefore decided to take drastic action. "I broke up with her," he said. "She started crying and begging but I said it was over. I don't want to be married to a bully."

Since then, the man said he has drawn criticism from friends and family alike with his now ex-fiancee accusing him of choosing Sarah over her.

Reflecting on the dispute, Kate Danley, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in relationships and life transitions with Thriveworks, a nationwide mental health company offering therapy services in person and online told Newsweek: "There really doesn't have to be a right or wrong reason for someone to end a relationship. If one partner in the relationship no longer feels comfortable, does not feel respected, or can no longer see themselves in the future with the other person, they have every right to end it."

In this instance, Danley felt it was clear the man had witnessed his ex-fiancee's behavior and was obviously concerned it would continue in the future. "I'm sure he was picturing his future with someone like this and that was one of the reasons he broke the relationship off," she said.

"The only thing I believe he could have possibly done differently would have been to speak with Sarah first," she said. "It may have been helpful to find out how she felt about this situation and the history of his fiancee's past behavior towards her before addressing it with his fiancee. Also having some time between the incident before talking would have given them both more level heads about the situation."

Even so, Danley believes there is still a chance the relationship can be saved. "Both parties would have to really want it to work and will have to put in effort to make it work," she said. "His fiancee would have to actually see that her behavior was wrong, make amends, and do differently. This could possibly be a future sticking point and couples counseling would be helpful."

But while Danley felt there was still the potential for reconciliation, others on Reddit disagreed.

"I get being jealous but that never gives the right for someone to bully and make someone feel so low," one user wrote. "If this occasion was a once off maybe it could be explained by a moment of jealousy but to be doing this constantly is just so shallow."

A second agreed: "Dodged a bullet there. It's important to stand up against bullying, even if it's coming from someone close to you. You did the right thing by ending it." A third added: "You've made a wise choice. Kindness is effortless, while bullying and vindictiveness require significant effort."

Newsweek has reached out to u/cChance_Digc but was unable to verify the details of the case

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

A man and woman are arguing.
File photo of a couple arguing. A man called off his wedding over what his fiancee said to his ex. LittleBe80/Getty

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Jack Beresford is a Newsweek Senior Internet Culture & Trends Reporter, based in London, UK. His focus is reporting on ... Read more

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