Man Praised for Recording Conversation With Female Coworker After HR Threat

A man is being praised online for recording a conversation with his female coworker that led to her immediate firing.

Redditor u/Past_Long7166 shared his story with the popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, often stylized as "AITA." He earned over 7,800 upvotes and over 900 comments for his post, "AITA for recording my female coworker without her permission?"

"I know the title sounds bad but hear me out," u/Past_Long7166 opens his story.

He's a 28-year-old with a female coworker, 26, who he says flirts with her male coworkers. The original poster (OP) has repeatedly shot her down, and so they generally avoided each other; he's also told his wife, 24, about her behavior and that he doesn't like the flirting.

On Monday, things came to a head, and he told her that if she didn't back off, he'd report her to Human Resources. But on Thursday, his coworker found his wife on social media, and sent her messages claiming he was a "creep" who "won't leave her alone" and he "tried to pay her for sex."

"I was honestly disgusted. I ignore her existence unless it's work related and I couldn't believe the blatant lies she was telling," u/Past_Long7165 wrote.

Following the messages, he had an idea. He decided he'd confront her, and record their conversation on his phone. He didn't show her face in the footage, just her shoes. In the footage, she eventually admits to her misdeeds, saying she was mad about his threat to go to HR. She wanted his wife to force him to quit, removing the threat. In a comment, he clarified his wife knew not to believe a word she said and actually urged him to go to HR sooner.

Footage and messages in hand, u/Past_Long7166 went to HR—who fired her immediately. He says that when she left, she threatened to sue him for recording her—though, he says this took place in Ohio, a one-party consent state, so she wouldn't have a case.

Other coworkers, however, also called him out, saying he should have just shown HR the messages. They also objected because she was a single mom and "I just cost her kids their livelihood."

Though it's more common for female workers to face sexual harassment from men, men like u/Past_Long7166 can be harassed as well. Companies have the obligation to protect employees from harassment—whether that comes from bosses, coworkers or even clients, EqualRights.org says. In addition, sexual harassment isn't always physical; comments and jokes are also considered harassment and should be stopped.

If one is being harassed at work, the first and best thing to do is to go to HR and let them know about the harassment. HR has a legal duty to listen to all complaints and investigate them. When making a complaint, it helps to keep everything logged in writing—including dates and times, location and whether there were witnesses, EqualRights.org says. Also take notes on any conversations about the harassment with HR or the harasser—and keep those notes in a safe place at home.

If the company doesn't act, it can help to go to one's union if employees are unionized. Other solutions include filing a complaint with a government agency like the Fair Employment Practices Agency, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, or, for those in California, that state's Department of Fair Employment and Housing. And, of course, should all else fail, it's within one's rights to sue their employer for not protecting a victim from harassment.

Reddit was soundly on u/Past_Long7166's side.

"[Not the A**hole]. If the genders were reversed, everyone would be applauding you. Always have proof and never go off he said she said when possible," u/zombiemiki wrote in the top-rated comment with over 10,700 upvotes.

"And always remember you didn't cost her the job. Her own actions, repeated harassment and lying cost her the job," u/nolan358 added.

"[Not the A**hole] by any means. She messaged your wife things that could end your marriage and even get you arrested/life ruined. No way in hell you did anything wrong!" u/Various_Counter_9569 wrote.

"I agree 100% that the OP is [Not the A**hole] but idk why people act like women who report their male coworkers for sexual harassment are applauded and taken seriously right away? Maybe online people are quicker to admit a blatant account of abuse is bad but in the real world and in most offices no one gives a s**t and most often the reporter is the one who suffers consequences, not the one doing the harassment," u/Glad-Talk wrote. "We should all be more conscious of the actual reality that most reports of harassment/abuse are not given the proper care or attention."

"She cost her own kids her livelihood. As if hitting on you wasn't bad enough, but contacting your wife and potentially ending your marriage. That's a bridge too far. From your title, I was going to say something else, but definitely [Not the A**hole]," u/del901 wrote.

"She was trying to cost OP his livelihood in the first place too" u/jholowtaekjho agreed.

Newsweek reached out to u/Past_Long7166 for comment.