Man Reducing Work to Pay Wife Less Child Support After Divorce Applauded

A divorced father-of-two has been applauded for opting to work fewer hours, despite it meaning his ex-wife and kids receive less in child support.

Child-support payments are a part of life for millions of American families today. In 2017, Census Bureau data estimated that around one in five children in the U.S. live in households that receive such payments. These can be substantial too, with the median amount received in the U.S., according to the census data, standing at around $1,800.

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Up until recently, this particular divorced dad was paying well over the average to support his ex-wife and kids. Writing in a Reddit post shared under the handle u/Mean-Description-7970, he said that, for the past decade, he had been working tirelessly to maintain an "excellent standard of living" for his family.

Prior to the divorce, the man was earning an estimated $240,000 a year, which would have equated to around $3,300 in monthly child-support payments.

However, after seeking joint custody, things changed significantly with the man now working in town and bringing home an annual salary of around $100,000, which translated into around $800 a month in child-support payments.

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It's a shift that has left his ex-wife furious. "My ex is going nuts because she isn't getting what she thought she would," the man wrote. "My lawyer has tried explaining that child support is based on income and since I am not working crazy hours to make lots of money for vacations and a huge house I don't need I do not earn as much."

He added that his wife has been telling everyone he is cutting back on work to deprive his kids, but he has rejected that accusation. "I have my kids half the time and since I cannot be out of town I earn less," the poster said. "My kids have everything they need."

Monica Cwynar is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in relationships, anxiety and stress with Thriveworks, a nationwide mental-health company offering therapy services in-person and online. She told Newsweek, in situations like this, "it is important to take a step back and focus on the most productive way to tackle the situation."

While therapy could offer a chance to develop effective coping strategies to deal with the conflict, Cwynar also felt some time for self-reflection could help the man see things from his ex-wife's perspective.

She also stressed the importance of open and honest communication between the two parents. "Prioritizing the well-being of the children in all discussions with his ex-wife is extremely important," Cwynar added.

Allied to that, she stressed the importance of setting boundaries. "Avoid engaging in arguments or conflicts that do not serve the best interests of the children," Cwynar said.

"It is essential for the poster to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and a focus on constructive communication to address the conflict with his ex-wife in a healthy and productive manner."

However, while Cwynar promoted a path of compromise and conflict resolution, others on Reddit sided firmly with the dad.

One criticized the man's ex-wife, writing: "She wanted you to be more present for your kids. You are doing that."

A second added: "You are now home where you are needed and should be. You have your kids half the time, which means they are in your life now. Do not destroy your mental health and family time for her."

A third posted: "You're cutting back to spend more time with your kids. That's pretty admirable. Child support is for children."

Newsweek has reached out to u/Mean-Description7970 but was unable to verify the details of the case.