How To Master Microstress in Your Life

Burnout is prevalent in workplaces worldwide. It's a problem of epidemic proportions posing threats at the organizational level (to business performance) and at the individual employee level (to well-being and productivity).

Microstresses—the small moments of stress that grow out of our daily interactions with others at work and in our personal lives—are among the leading, but often overlooked, causes of burnout and a range of mental and physical health issues.

Although we scarcely notice them when they happen, the volume, velocity and diversity of these stressors in today's hyper-connected world take a toll. They leave us exhausted and unable to bring our best to our jobs or our loved ones.

But the good news is that we can help reduce the negative fallout of microstress by better understanding it, identifying it in our own lives and taking steps to lessen or eliminate its effects. Here's how.

Learn How Microstress Appears in the Workplace

At i4cp—the Institute for Corporate Productivity, a global human capital research firm—we apply our investigative expertise to identify factors that contribute to optimal business outcomes, as well as the roadblocks (including burnout) that challenge organizational performance.

Given the highly collaborative nature of work today, our research has focused not just on workload as a source of burnout, but also on the collaborative footprint that has become such a large source of microstress in the workplace.

For example, research from i4cp shows that leaders can cause microstress that adversely impacts colleagues and employees:

• 61 percent of leaders failed to clearly communicate alignment between job roles and expectations
• 51 percent behaved inconsistently, shifted demands or were indecisive
• 45 percent failed to enforce consistent communication norms
• 31 percent spread stress through anxious, de-energizing or negative conduct

It's easy to see how even one leader might unintentionally stress many others, causing an unfortunate domino effect across an organization.

And the reality is that this is just one source of microstress—it also comes at us through our interactions with colleagues, teammates, stakeholders, clients and even loved ones.

Understand the Sources of Microstress

Through my interviews with hundreds of individuals across dozens of global organizations, I've identified 14 sources of microstress. These fall under three broad categories that are based on the effects the microstressors cause.

Microstresses That Drain Our Capacity To Get Things Done

The need to collaborate within the context of our daily work has grown along with expectations to continually improve productivity. While working with others helps us generate results, microstresses can diminish our productivity when collaborations are inefficient, ineffective or otherwise flawed in these ways.

The following sources of microstress impact productivity:

1. Misalignment between collaborators on their roles or priorities
2. Uncertainty about teammates' reliability to honor their commitments
3. Unpredictable behavior from a person in a position of authority
4. Collaborative demands that are excessive and unnecessary
5. Surges in responsibilities at work or at home

Microstresses That Deplete Our Emotional Reserves

When interactions with others leave us worried, unsure about our actions, fearful of repercussions, de-energized or otherwise encumbered by negative feelings, we may find ourselves on rocky ground. Such relationships wear down the emotional reserves we need to deal with stress effectively.

These sources of microstress include:

1. Managing and feeling responsible for the success and well-being of others
2. Confrontational conversations
3. Lack of trust in our network
4. People who spread stress
5. Political maneuvering

Microstresses That Challenge Our Identities

Our values form the foundation of our identity, and that sense of who we are is shaped and clarified through our relationships. We are especially susceptible when we invest ourselves too fully in work to the detriment of other dimensions of our lives.

Those microstresses manifest in:

1. Pressure to pursue goals that are out of sync with our personal values
2. Attacks on our sense of self-confidence, worth or control
3. Draining or otherwise negative interactions with family or friends
4. Disruptions to our network

Identify Your Top Microstressors

Gaining a greater understanding of the causes of microstress enables us to identify disruptive elements in our lives. Start by reviewing the preceding list and think about the interactions you have with managers, colleagues, family and friends.

Can you identify—and then alter—the top two or three microstressors that are systemically impacting your life? Look for subtle ways to shift the interactions, increase the time between the interactions or put them in other contexts for quick wins.

Take a second look at the list and ask yourself what microstresses you might be unnecessarily causing others. The stress we create always boomerangs back on us in a different form. To decrease its impact on you, think about where you might change your behavior. Finally, consider which items on the list you might be blowing out of proportion—stressors you might mitigate simply by taking a step back and adjusting your perspective.

Let's say confrontational conversations tend to cause you a lot of stress. Create a plan for raising the issue that is firmly grounded in evidence—not opinion or emotion. Instead of approaching this type of conversation emotion-first, present to data to your colleagues.

After the interaction, reflect on what went well and how you can incorporate that moving forward. Perhaps you wrote down your data points or practiced a script before initiating the stressful conversation. Make that a routine moving forward.

Three Strategies for Managing Microstress

Once you identify your microstressors, consider three strategies to reduce their impact:

1. Start with Smaller Microstressors First

Confronting a miscrostressor can be mentally taxing. For many, it feels easier to just absorb the stress rather than do something about it. This causes microstresses to accumulate over time.

We have found the best approach is to pick the microstress that will be the easiest to deal with before tackling larger problems. This process builds a belief and skill that can be taken to the more impactful microstresses.

For example, it may not be simple to navigate surges in responsibility at work. If the added work is due to something out of your control, like layoffs, it probably won't be an easy fix.

But perhaps you've noticed a misalignment between collaborators on your team. Schedule a meeting to discuss the priorities of the project in question and make a concrete plan to move forward.

2. Invest in Your Relationships and Well-Being

Because we're up close and personal with the microstressors in our lives, it can take the perspectives of others who are more removed to help us reframe and rethink our situations.

In particular, our research found that help in alleviating microstress lies in establishing relationships with others around shared interests/experiences and those that help create purpose and greater dimensionality in our lives. In my research, the happiest people had at least two, and usually three, groups of which they were an authentic part outside of their professions and direct family members.

Learning to keep microstressors in perspective is an area in which mindfulness practices can prove especially helpful, too. So can meditation, journaling and other efforts that still and focus our thoughts and alleviate stress.

3. Disconnect from People or Activities That Create Microstress

When microstressors prove too much to overcome otherwise, the most effective strategy may be distancing yourself temporarily, or even permanently, from the source of your stress—whether that is a person or an activity.

Disconnecting from relatives, friends or even long-familiar activities can be a difficult choice. But when the alternative (continuing to live with microstress) could destroy your well-being, that action may be necessary.

As you consider, ask yourself if there is a way you might shift the nature of your interactions—alter behaviors in the relationship or activity to make it healthier and less stressful. Or is there an opportunity to recalibrate or reset the relationship or situation—in essence, to start over or find healthier ways to move forward?

It's inevitable that our interactions cause microstresses, and those occur at a volume and velocity that can spell trouble for our well-being if we don't learn to recognize and manage them effectively. Successful people do that proactively, while also connecting with others in ways that open new dimensions in their lives.

An honest assessment of your relationships and activities is your first step toward a less stressful, more rewarding life.

About the Author

Rob Cross is Senior Vice President of Research for the Institute for Corporate Productivity (i4cp), a research firm that applies the lenses of human and social capital to identify talent practices that drive bottom-line business impact. Thinkers50, which identifies, ranks and shares the leading management ideas of our age, has named Cross to its 2023 Thinkers50 Distinguished Achievement Awards Shortlist.