Long before I ever dreamed of going into the behavioral health profession, I had a strong fascination with the mysteries of the human psyche. You know the questions that we all yearn to know, 'What made him/her do that?' Years of people-watching, including my family and friends, and being privileged to have over 5,000+ direct clinical observation hours of small children at the McCrory Center & Local Headstart Program, have led me to some conclusions about confidence that I would like to share with you!
What is Confidence? Confidence is a fundamental trait that allows individuals to navigate life with self-assurance and belief in their abilities. It is more than just a feeling; it is a mindset that empowers us to take risks, overcome challenges, and pursue our goals. Confidence can be nurtured through support and a positive perspective on one's abilities and qualities. It plays a crucial role in various aspects of life, including academic and career success, mental health, and overall well-being.
The "I Can Do It" Attitude
Growing up, I experienced various challenges and had to face many difficulties. The encouraging words of others, in addition to observing the success of healthy adults and the lessons I learned from those with struggles, instilled in me an "I can do it" attitude. Many told me I was intelligent, some went as far as to call me an "Einstein" or "Above Average." Whether these compliments were true or not, they served to bolster my belief that I was capable of achieving anything.
Having an "I Can Do It" attitude is essential for building confidence. It is about approaching challenges and obstacles with a positive and determined mindset. When we believe in our abilities and have faith in ourselves, we are more likely to take risks and try new things. This attitude is especially important for children, as it sets the foundation for their overall well-being and success in life.
Acquiring vs. Being Born with Confidence
Confidence is not something that we are necessarily born with, but rather something that can be acquired and developed over time. While some individuals may naturally have a more confident disposition, it is important to recognize that confidence is a skill that can be cultivated. In fact, research in childhood public health suggests that confidence can be influenced by various factors, including upbringing, environment, and experiences. For example, children who are encouraged to explore their interests and talents and are provided with support and positive reinforcement are more likely to develop a strong sense of confidence.
Here are some ways that I have learned over the years to boost my confidence.
1. Know your strengths and weaknesses.
We all have things that we are really good at and others that we suck at. Knowing this information will allow you to hone in on the area where you will have the most success. By understanding your strengths, you can achieve authenticity and unleash your creativity, leading to a fulfilling life. Trying to mimic someone else's dreams or visions may result in falling short. Remember that what might be their strength could be your weakness, and vice versa.
2. Surround yourself only with encouraging and like-minded people.
Have you ever heard the old saying, surround yourself with people who see you the way you do? Well, it is true. It would be foolish of me to socialize with people who are envious or jealous or wish me an ill fate. These people, believe it or not, will have a direct and indirect effect on your behavior, dreams, beliefs, and overall confidence. Their ill wishes could easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is why I encourage you to seek positive, upbeat, supportive people who will cheer for you; this will help build your confidence
3. Take advice but with caution.
My sister once told me I see everything through rose-tinted glasses. Again, this may or may not be true, but I know I have a tendency to see the good in everyone and every situation. However, I am wise enough to know that people may mean well or have good intentions but may not know what I know about a topic, endeavor, have the same worldly experiences as I, etc. As a result, I am careful not to let others' opinions, advice, or thoughts infringe on mine. This ensures I stay confident in my ability to succeed.
I can't tell you how many times others have advised me to give up on my dream. Despite knowing that I'm recognized for achieving my goals. It may seem illogical to do so, but you'll be amazed. I often wonder if only I had allowed those people to undermine my vision or dreams, would it have affected my confidence?
4. Seek happiness.
Not just for your children, spouse, or social media likes, but for yourself. I have had many experiences that weren't ideal, but they were what I had to deal with at that moment. My ability to navigate through triumphs led me to who I am now and the confidence that I have in my ability to succeed ultimately allowed me to experience true joy and happiness.
5. And lastly, create affirmations that enhance your self-esteem.
If you consistently remind yourself of your accomplishments (whether big or small), abilities, and values, this will boost your self-confidence. In 2012, my staff and I used to celebrate whenever someone donated a pack of diapers to our maternal-infant health program because it helped strengthen our belief that we were on the right path and that others had faith in us!
I hope you can recognize the link between confidence, friendship, and believing in yourself!
These mantras have helped me and I hope they can be helpful to you.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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