Mom Offering $150K for Son's Wedding if He Abides by These 2 Rules Cheered

The internet has backed a woman for refusing to spend $150,000 on her son's wedding unless his wife-to-be agrees to let her have her own guests.

In a post shared on Reddit earlier in March under the username u/anon1968anon, the mom explained that her son and his fiancee Ashley, who met at medical school and have been together for over four years, are having a huge wedding with over 400 guests, and she's footing the bill.

According to a recent study carried out by wedding planning website The Knot, the average wedding size in America in 2022 was around 117 guests. The part of the country with the most guests was the Midwest, with an average of about 141 guests per wedding.

The poster wrote on Reddit: "I have offered to pay for their wedding, with two stipulations: They use a wedding planner—I feel this is essential due to the size of the event and the amount of money going into it; I have 8 people I'm inviting (older relatives that I'm close with).

"They both agreed to a wedding planner and said they will look for one that they feel comfortable with. The issue is Ashley does not want me to be able to invite anyone."

The poster explained that she wasn't born rich and only got money after being involved in a severe car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down. She then used the lawsuit cash to make some investments that turned out to be very lucrative. The eight relatives she wants to invite are her aunties and uncles that helped her take care of the kids when she was in need.

"Without their help between watching the kids and financially, I would have been up s*** creek without a paddle when my kids were younger," she said.

Soula Hareas, a licensed mental-health counselor at McNulty Counseling and Wellness, told Newsweek that this issue represents more than just a wedding-day dilemma.

She said: "Wedding planning sometimes sets the tone for how two families will blend into one and more importantly how a couple handles outside influence into their relationship. This couple has been dating for such a long time it's probably true they know the quirks of each other's immediate family by now. In situations like these, the couple has to be on the same page first and foremost. Too often problems arise because overbearing family and friends try to convince one partner to do something that the partner thinks is ok without getting input from the other partner. This is how disaster starts."

According to Hareas, many couples receive some financial help from family for weddings, and she always advises couples to have a discussion with each other about what that help will be and what, if any, strings are attached to that help.

"Make sure you are both on the same page with boundaries regarding others picking out venue, caterer, band, and especially invite list. The mother is being extremely generous with her offer. A wedding planner is a great idea to alleviate the stress of the bride and groom.

"With a wedding of that size, one has to ask—are eight people really going to make a difference? Weddings are the vision of the bride and the groom and it's their day, not everyone else's day. If the bride does not feel comfortable because she does not know the relatives is there an opportunity for her to meet them? I encourage this because what people don't realize when someone puts their foot down about who to invite or who not to invite is that they forget that there may be a ripple effect to their decision.

"If these 8 people don't come because they weren't invited will others who were invited not come as well? Will the mom be so upset she doesn't show up? I've told couples to expect everything because this is the most important day in their lives but not everyone else's."

Hareas says this is where couples have to be strong and be able to handle the ripple effect without it causing major damage to the relationship.

She added: "There is always the option of waiting until they can afford their own wedding without mom's help or eloping. In my experience, I have seen much more controlling demands than inviting eight people and this [isn't] that big of an issue unless the bride has fears of this being just the beginning of mom's controlling behavior in their marriage.

"If the bride has seen hints of this in the past she may be worried that if she agrees to this then mom will keep attaching conditions from the day she gives them the money until the wedding. This is why I can't emphasize enough that the couple needs to be a united front against any outside forces trying to derail their happiness."

The post originally shared on the r/AmItheA****** subreddit where users discuss their actions with strangers, has quickly gained popularity across the platform, receiving over 8,300 upvotes and 2,200 comments so far.

One user, Fine_Prune_743, commented: "Nope [Not The A******] you are asking for 8 people and offering $150k. I'm assuming you are not exerting control over anything else."

And Ok_Possibility5715 added: "This it's 8 people, who the fiance meet even a few times and relatives Op's son knows. It's not random people. With inviting 300-400 it would be like 150-200 per person, so 8 people doesn't seem a lot. How do they even want to invite 300-400 people..."

BGlo60 wrote: "I would seriously consider not paying for this wedding. The bride and her family seem obnoxious and entitled! [Not The A******]" And Garamon7 added: "I suspect she thinks something along the lines of "Well, all their fortune will be mine... I mean ours, but mostly mine... someday... so why can't I treat this money as mine today?"

Newsweek reached out to u/anon1968anon for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.