Anger as Mom Tells Babysitter It's 'Inappropriate' for Her to Use Shower

A mom of two has prompted debate around the expectations placed on child care workers after she told her babysitter it was "inappropriate" for her to use the shower in her family home despite being doused in milk by one of her kids.

The worker left the woman's children in the care of their dad, who was back home from his job, while she cleaned up. The mother, however, still took offense at the babysitter's actions, even going as far as to threaten taking money off her pay because of the incident.

According to a Pew Research Center poll of mothers in opposite-sex relationships, 74 percent said they did more to manage their children's schedules and activities than their partner while only 3 percent said their spouse did more. However, for one mom, that involvement went a little too far when she took issue with her child minder using their shower to clean up.

In a post shared to Reddit under the handle throwaway6477764, the woman explained she works "long hours at a marketing company" while her husband works shifts so they need someone to care for their 5- and 3-year-old kids.

Things had been going well with their babysitter until the mom came home from work one night and noticed she had "wet hair and new clothes." The childminder explained she had taken a shower "after one of the kids spilled milk on her."

Despite explaining that her husband had been home and watched the kids while she cleaned herself up, the mom said she was left "confused" and "upset" at the worker's actions.

"I told her I didn't think it was appropriate for her to shower in my home like that," the mom wrote. "She argued that it was fine and that she had no choice and couldn't leave the milk on her like that."

An argument ensued with the woman's husband eventually intervening to try and reassure her it was "not as big of a deal" as she was making but the mom remained angry at the sitter for ignoring her "feelings" and later warned her she was considering "potentially cutting from her salary" because of it.

While her husband felt she was "overreacting" the mom still insists it was "inappropriate" and the babysitter should have "checked" with her first.

Few if any agreed with her on social media though.

Trixen2020 wrote: "You'll be lucky if she ever comes back, and if she does, count your lucky stars, apologize profusely and check in with yourself on why this made you so irrationally angry - my guess is, you don't trust your husband." Babybopp was similarly confused, commenting: "How do you overreact because someone took a shower after your own kids spilt milk on them?"

Panundeerus, meanwhile, asked: "Why exactly should she have called and asked for your permission, when clearly your husband had already given her permission to take a shower? Creating drama out of nothing." Elsewhere, emma3igh lamented: "Imagine any other work setting and a boss threatened to cut your salary like this. Absolutely not okay."

Those concerns were shared by parenting expert and consultant Kirsty Ketley, the owner of Auntie K's Childcare.

Ketley told Newsweek: "The mum is completely in the wrong here. If she thought the babysitter was neglecting her kids to take a shower she had reason to be angry, however, the dad was home and watching the kids. If the babysitter was going to be heading out or then had to go off to another family, she may have needed to get cleaned up."

She added: "I suspect that there is more to the mum being upset, but she should apologize and make it clear that she would prefer to know if this happened again, before she got home, regardless of if the dad was there or not. If she still doesn't like the idea of the babysitter taking a shower there, then it is the husband who she should be speaking to about what their rules and boundaries should be."

Newsweek contacted u/throwaway6477764, but could not verify the details of the case.