Internet Split Over Husband's Friendship With Female Colleague Half His Age

A wife voiced concerns online after finding messages between her 47-year-old husband and his far younger work colleague.

Marriage and family therapist Faith Dulin described the concerns to Newsweek as "valid" and reasoned that the wife is being far from "unreasonable."

In a post to popular forum Mumsnet, the wife shared that the former work colleague is a woman in her twenties. The wife's husband was the woman's manager before she left the company six months ago for another job.

Their marriage, she explained in the post, was in a bad place at the time and he would often return from work in a foul mood, hardly acknowledging her.

"However, he then talked about how much fun he had at work and that they 'spend the whole day laughing.' He mentioned a few colleagues but this one he mentioned more than most. I actually lost my temper with him because he was mentioning her so much," she shared.

After the co-worker found another job, the wife believed it was the end of the friendship. "Then at the weekend, my husband showed me his phone and I could see that there was a conversation between the two of them. Basically she was asking if he was going to someone's leaving do [going away party] and he said he wasn't. All innocence enough, but why are they still in contact? Especially as I had raised concerns about her in the past," continued the wife.

Dulin told Newsweek that the key thing at play here is the age aspect. "In general, friendships develop from similar life stages and flourish with shared interests. It's hard for me to imagine what they have in common. It's possible the relationship is strictly platonic with healthy boundaries, but not likely. Their connection seems superficial and self-serving, to what end, we don't know," she said.

"Male infatuation with younger women isn't a new thing, especially when there's some level of authority in the work environment. Usually the seduction of such situations is less about the actual woman or an affair and more about his need for a distraction from work stress, ego stroking by fantasizing about her interest, enjoying feeling looked up to and 'respected' in the work setting, etc. Great job being honest with your feelings about the situation!"

Mumsnet users, however, were further on the fence, with users taking both sides of the issue.

"I am in my 40's and have a good friend who is a young man in his early twenties who I met through work. Entirely innocent on both sides, I am like a bonus mum to him. We would have had a conversation about going to a mutual colleagues leaving do and it would be just that, checking if we will have chance to catch up as I would with any friend," reassured one user.

"I'd certainly keep an eye on the situation if it makes you uncomfortable but just to say age gap friendships aren't always affairs," they continued.

"I wouldn't be bothered if my husband was friends with a woman half his age. I would be bothered if my husband was coming home in a foul mood and not acknowledging me though," agreed another user.

"It's not something I would find acceptable," countered another. "I have a particular dislike of older men cultivating close friendships with young women. Almost always the man sees her inappropriately and all too often makes a show of himself, either sneezing after her or acting like a love struck fool in her presence.

"Embarrassing for him and by extension for his partner, as typically everyone in the office sees what he's doing and laughs at him. Not to mention the power dynamic and potential for exploitation if he is her senior at work. As far as I'm concerned any decent older man avoids these situations like the plague, and I'd feel very differently about any man who didn't."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.