'My Ex Killed Our Baby': The Woman Fighting for Domestic Violence Victims

It was June 2021 when Mariah Gardner married nurse practitioner Stephen Clare. The now-51-year-old man would go on to shoot her five times and murder one of their two infant daughters less than two years later.

On April 10, 2023, Clare tried to attack all the children he and 29-year-old Gardner shared, including her two sons from a previous marriage and their 2-year-old daughter Rosalie, whom he critically injured. Clare also killed their 11-month-old baby, Willow. Gardner had divorced him four months earlier, but he had won joint custody of the girls, despite Gardner's reports of abuse.

Gardner's elder sons had managed to escape through a window and find refuge at a neighboring house, cutting themselves on shards of broken glass in the process, while their mother screamed for help.

Rosalie and Gardner were rushed to hospital by emergency responders, their state of consciousness so precarious that Gardner told Newsweek she was "sure they were going to die." Miraculously, both survived and have since made strong recoveries. However, Willow, who was just two days shy of her first birthday, was less fortunate and died shortly after being stabbed during the attack.

Willow's father now faces a life behind bars after being found guilty of capital murder, while her mother, Gardner, has made it her life's mission to increase legal support for victims of domestic abuse.

Gardner wants the world to know what her ex-husband did on April 10, and how the harrowing pain he has caused could have been prevented if his earlier behaviors had been assessed more diligently. Her grief is palpable, but she wants it to be a force for change and good.

"Willow was so loved, and her siblings miss her dearly," Gardner said. "Stephen was jealous of the girls and of anything that took my attention away from him. His 'love' was just a dangerous obsession, and our photos haunt me. He liked to take photos while kissing my cheek, which was the same cheek he put a bullet through.

"That side of my face is still numb," Gardner added.

Clare had harassed and abused Gardner for years, and Gardner said that Willow would still be here if she had received more professional support when she had vocalized her fears.

"I called the local domestic violence center and told them what's happening. I wanted a protective order, and for help from their legal department. They told me that they couldn't help me because I didn't have a police report, and the police wouldn't make a report because, at that point, there had been no physical violence," Gardner said.

"In Texas, it's either physical violence or nothing," she added.

'It's the Hallmark of Abuse'

Gardner had met Clare in a bar in October 2017, just two weeks after she had finalized her divorce from her first husband. Bogged down by the breakup, Gardner headed out with friends in search of some fun and perhaps a harmless fling.

"I thought he was kind of nerdy and weird, but I took his phone number," Gardner said.

Although her first divorce had been amicable, Gardner was stunned by how quiet her life had become once she had to share custody of her two boys with her ex-husband, and her newfound loneliness pushed her towards Clare. Soon, his unconventional behavior took a darker turn.

"He would ghost me when we made plans and start arguments with me before we even became a couple," Gardner said.

"I'd tell him, 'Don't call me again,' but he'd be really persistent and beg for second and third chances. He'd say all the right things, and I had a hard time saying no," she added.

Gardner carried on dating Clare, and they welcomed their first child, Rosalie, in August 2020, marrying in an intimate backyard ceremony with friends and family later that year.

The pair plodded along with married life, Gardner warmly and Clare less so, as his concerning behavior slowly escalated.

"It was as though he had two separate personalities. He had the ugly personality that caused arguments, said horrible things and was controlling, but he had a sweet side, too," Gardner said.

By January 2023, Gardner had had enough, having found the strength to divorce, but still had to share equal custody of their two young daughters with Clare.

"About six months before the attack, he'd been stalking me and driving past my house at least 20 times per day. I would go somewhere without the girls, and he'd say that someone saw me. I went to a dinner where a man who I didn't know was sitting near me, and Stephen found out about this and questioned me on it," Gardner said.

"He also started to exhibit erratic behavior. I wouldn't hear from him for days and then, all of a sudden, he'd call me and start shouting," Gardner added.

"He mentioned that, if he had to line all our children up in front of a firing squad, he'd only save Rosalie. He'd previously kicked me out of the house when I was 36 weeks pregnant with Willow, and he'd 'joke' that he'd kidnap me. He said dark things about himself, too," Gardner said.

She had called the authorities on multiple occasions to report Clare's own suicidal thoughts. On one instance, the police took Clare to hospital for a long psychiatric observation, but he used his extensive medical background to whip out the right things to say so that he could be released in just four hours. Gardner describes the incident as "gaslighting" by the hospital.

The mother had even been told by a marriage counselor that Clare was perfectly fine and that she just needed to cater to his emotions better.

As Clare's behaviors and remarks become more coded in violence, and the services Gardner sought turned their backs, she began to fear for her safety. It was at this point that she had called, and subsequently got dismissed by, her domestic violence center.

Gardner then knew she had to mobilize support from her social circle.

"I told people that, if I go missing, it's him. I'd tell people that he's going to kill me. I told friends, I posted on social media, I even called the police! I never thought he'd hurt the children, but I knew he'd hurt me and I wanted to protect us," Gardner said.

'I Was Gaslighted by the Hospital'

Gardner had enjoyed a happy childhood in Louisiana and had remained close to her parents in adulthood, but due to Texas' legal constraints, there was no real escape path open to her and the children.

"I couldn't just get up and go back to Louisiana or a non-disclosed area because Stephen had 50 percent custody of my children. That's the standard order for fathers in Texas. If I just took my kids and fled, I would've gotten a parental kidnapping sentence and the children would have been placed solely under his care," Gardner said.

"There was nothing I could have done to escape him," she added.

Gardner felt the best way forward for her and the children would've been just to tolerate Clare and refrain from provoking him.

Gardner agreed for Clare to have their children for Easter weekend, the weekend before the attack. He would go on to drop Rosalie and Willow at preschool the following Monday while Gardner was at work.

Although she now believes the attack had been premeditated, Gardner said April 10 was a very normal day before Clare launched his brutal assault. It was busy with picking the kids up from school, doing homework, and baking after-school snacks.

However, the family's promise of a wholesome evening was interrupted by Clare's return to the San Antonio house at 7 p.m.

"He pushed his way in and was moving fast, but I figured it was his strange personality. He hates animals, Christmas, and family gatherings. Anything that brings people joy he despises," Gardner said.

Clare proceeded to announce his arrival to the children, as Gardner tidied a few things away. As she turned back to face him, she saw Clare holding a gun to her face.

He shot her at close range five times and left her in a critical condition before leaving her to hunt down the children.

"The first responders thought that I was going to die. In the police officer's testimony, a woman stated she truly believed I was going to die in that moment and so she just held me in her arms," Gardner told Newsweek.

"I was in respiratory failure, bleeding internally, inhaling and swallowing blood. I ended up vomiting blood when I was in the ambulance too, but I never lost consciousness. I think the fact I'm a mother kept me alive in the intensive care unit for 10 days. I was on a mission to save my kids and make sure that they were okay," Gardner added.

'They Truly Believed That I Was Going to Die'

Sadly, Gardner was told in hospital that her youngest, Willow, had been killed. Clare had fled the scene and returned to his residence, where he washed his bloodstained clothes and downed a concoction of drugs. He was captured by police as he began to settle into bed as if nothing had happened.

Gardner's world has since been altered beyond recognition. The mother had to learn how to swallow, speak and eat again, all while grieving her baby.

Gardner finds motivation to go on in her surviving children, in championing Willow's legacy, and in raising awareness about domestic violence on social media. Although she still struggles to walk on occasion, Gardner marched proudly at a recent vigil that commemorated Willow's memory and spread the message.

'My Daughter Had Her Life Stolen'

In October, Gardner made it to Capitol Hill with Willow's ashes in a pendant, to encourage the White House to reform family court law and better safeguard victims of abuse.

"My daughter had her life stolen. She will never turn 1, she will never speak, she will never be able to walk. I must find a way to allow her legacy to live on. Every time I share our story on social media, I share her. Even though she is gone, she will help so many people just because she existed," Gardner said.

Gardner said: "I also have a surviving daughter, and I have to do everything I can to make sure there are laws in place that will protect her in a way that they did not protect me. I never want her to have to experience the level of evil and violence she survived as a 2-year-old baby."

A Bexar County grand jury charged Stephen Clare with capital murder of a child under the age of 10. San Antonio Police Department's incident report reads that Clare had "intentionally and knowingly" murdered Willow Clare. It is a felony punishable by death or life imprisonment with no possibility of parole.

Anyone seeking help should call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, a free and confidential hotline available 24/7 that can be reached on 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. The Hotline also provides information on local resources. For more information visit www.thehotline.org.

Update 11/14/2023, 3:15 a.m. ET: This article was updated to change a reference to "stepmother" in the third paragraph to "mother," as requested by Mariah Gardner.

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