My Mystery Pain Was Misdiagnosed

At 48, I had just been offered what I thought was my dream job at a large media company. It was everything I planned for—on the studio lot, my name on the parking space, and a view of LA.

Before I could jump in, I wanted to check in with a doctor. Somehow I felt something was wrong in my body, but I did not know what.

Every night, as I went to sleep, I felt an uncomfortable ache—like when you get a fever. I thought it was probably the stress of life—work, kids, and everyday pressures.

But, the persistence and regularity of the pain made it impossible to ignore. Worse, I began to question my ability to take on my "dream job" if this mystery pain continued.

Finally, my appointment arrived. I had waited weeks to see this supposedly "miraculous" doctor to the stars. He listened to me for a few minutes, tripping over my words, trying to explain something I did not understand.

Then, without much else, he proclaimed a diagnosis: Fibromyalgia. "Take these steroids for six months and come back then," he offered.

With a bit of chutzpah, I expressed my doubts, saying: "I just don't think that's right. I can use Dr. Google and those symptoms don't seem to line up."

He was frustrated by my response, but not as frustrated as I was by his cookie-cutter diagnosis.

Totally dejected and assuming I would live the rest of my life in pain, I went to see my regular OB/GYN. Immediately, she had a different assessment: "You're 48 years old. This is perimenopause."

What the what? I hadn't even considered perimenopause. I was taken aback by how quickly and confidently the prior doctor had suggested a powerful steroid without even considering perimenopause as a possibility.

Despite having friends of the same age, menopause was a topic nobody seemed to discuss. I thought: I'm too young. I don't have hot flashes. I still get my period. How can this be?

In retrospect, I think about all the little things. A racing heartbeat, anxiety, trouble sleeping. With the knowledge I have now, it's pretty clear that I was in perimenopause, but it was so easy to call it the stress of life, my new normal, something I just had to live with.

Then my despair turned to action. I thought: What can I do? Why is no one talking about this? We used to share everything, but when it comes to our aging bodies mum's the word? No, thank you.

I was not going to let more women be brushed off—or worse, prescribed powerful medication they don't need.

Women talk a lot about feeling alone and isolated in their early perimenopause phase. I felt angry. My body was making me doubt myself and my capability. I was not going to let that stand.

I believe that society has driven us to focus our energy on maintaining a youthful appearance and ignoring the natural stages of women's lives. It's like we need to pretend we are not getting older. This drive to youth has led to a lack of information, education, innovation and investment in women's health, aging, and overall well-being.

Once awakened to this crisis in women's care, it was clear where to go from here. In the Spring of 2020, Kindra was born to offer education, insight, and support for the millions of women going through peri to post menopause.

Our goal was to provide safe, effective, physician-backed, hormone-free solutions that address the primary pain points of changing hormones— starting with menopause, but offering solutions from postpartum to perimenopause and beyond—enabling women to thrive in every chapter.

Perimenopause and postmenopause are an amazing phase of life. We are often at the peak of our careers, or find ourselves caring for our kids and our parents. It's a time when we need to find more support and more community, not feel isolated or lost in the systems that are supposedly here to help us.

For me, Kindra is much more than a job. The women I speak with in our community have enriched my life in so many ways.

Menopause changed my life. Not because of my body, but because it guided me to a mission, and while the process of getting here was rocky, I have no regrets.

Catherine Balsam-Schwaber is the CEO and Founder of Kindra, a vaginal health and sexual wellness company dedicated to empowering women through every age and every stage with Kindra's science-backed formulas, education, and community-building initiatives.

All views expressed are the author's own.

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