Mom's Heartbreak for Young Daughter Bullied for Her Natural Hair

Within the first years of their lives, children are flooded with stimuli from their close environment that inform their beliefs about the people around them. It doesn't take long for the messages from those environments to stick.

Whether racism and discrimination are inherited or learned is a debate that still rages within society, with studies showing evidence for both nature and nurture. Sadly, hair-based discrimination is still prevalent in schools throughout the world, and something that Anastacia Reijnders, 33, mother to Aliyah, 5, from London, U.K., recently found out.

"I couldn't believe what I heard," Reijnders told Newsweek. "It absolutely broke my heart as a mother. Especially when I could see how my usually very strong little girl was broken down by these comments. It also took me back to when I was younger and triggered many negative memories."

The mother and daughter duo were filming a "get ready for the day video" for their TikTok. The pair were chatting while Reijnders did Aliyah's hair when the young girl suddenly mentioned something another child had said to her at school.

"She told me that someone in her school told her that her hair made her look like a 'witch' and that it looked like leaves," said Reijnders. "I was shocked. This was the first time I had heard anything about this, and it was also the first time she had worn her hair out to school."

In recent years, steps have been taken within society, schools and the workplace to tackle the major issue among young children and adults of racial discrimination based on hair. This includes the Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair Act 2022 (CROWN Act 2022) in the U.S.

Despite this achievement, the CROWN Act still received criticism, and hair-based bullying is still a feature of school life for many boys and girls at the youngest of levels.

The majority of girls in the U.S. have either experienced or witnessed hair-related bullying or teasing, according to a 2022 study. Eurocentric beauty ideals continue to dominate the mainstream media, filtering down narrow beauty standards into everyday life. When asked the question, "good hair is?" 75 percent of the 105 girls aged 10 to 15 asked in the study answered, "Long, flowy, wavy, soft, straight." When asked "bad hair is?" 94 percent said, "short, nappy, hard to comb through."

Monique W. Morris, author of Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools, said hairstyle-related discrimination and harassment happens most frequently and most intensely on school campuses.

"These discriminatory and exclusionary acts of school discipline have long-term impacts on the educational engagement, access, and future success of these children and their families, especially on girls of color," Morris said to the New York State Education Department.

After hearing about the hair discrimination, Reijnders sought support from Aliyah's school the following day.

"Aliyah's teacher was shocked to hear what happened but took action straightaway," Reijnders said. "She was so helpful and created awareness about this subject in the classroom and started speaking and reading books around different hair textures, skin colors, and respecting others."

Despite the clear need for more awareness and support around the issue of hair-based discrimination, Reijnders believes that things have improved since her own school days.

"Growing up as a mixed girl in The Netherlands, I experienced a lot of hair discrimination," Reijnders said. "I was called a sheep, pillow head and so on, and I always straightened or relaxed my hair with harsh chemicals to look more 'acceptable'. Thankfully, I see natural hair being much more celebrated throughout society today."

Despite the improvements, the discrimination that Reijnders faced as a younger woman damaged her relationship with her hair and wider appearance.

"I strongly believe this is also the reason why, throughout my teenage years and into adulthood, I chose to straighten my hair daily and wear full-head weaves as I didn't have any love for my natural hair," Reijnders said. "I knew when I became pregnant with Aliyah that she might have hair like me, and the idea I could pass on how I felt about my own hair didn't sit well with me.

"I started to learn to love my natural hair in the hopes she would do as well and which she thankfully does, although I still felt like I had to prepare myself for the comments that might come her way in the future," Reijnders added. "I just didn't expect it to happen at such a young age."

Reijnders said that the responsibility to end this type of discrimination in schools falls down to the parents and teachers.

"The adults play a vital role in educating children about hair discrimination and promoting diversity," she said. "By doing so, they can instil crucial values and create a more inclusive environment."

Reijnders would like to see laws and policies implemented in schools and workplaces throughout the world to tackle this issue, including the curriculum.

"This issue needs to be tackled from every angle," Reijnders added. "As well as schools, we should be promoting conversations about this in society and celebrating diversity. We should also be putting more pressure on better media representations of diverse hairstyles, reflecting the rich variety of hair types and styles."

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