Praise As Man Refuses to Take 'Picky Eater' Girlfriend to Nice Restaurants

A man who refused to take his girlfriend to fancy restaurants because "she eats like a kid" has been backed over his cost-cutting approach.

Food can make or break a relationship. A 2019 study published in the journal Society for Personality and Social Psychology found close to a third of heterosexual women surveyed had gone on a date with a man just to get a free meal out. These so-called "foodie calls" came despite the woman involved having no romantic interest in their fellow diner.

But if the promise of a fancy meal can be enough to land a date, denying someone the opportunity to dine out in style may also spell the end of any hopes of a romantic future together.

That's the dilemma faced by one man and his "picky eater" girlfriend. Writing in a Reddit post shared under the handle ATotalMunch, the man explained that his girlfriend "eats like she is 10 years old" and has an extensive list of foods she refuses to eat which includes "anything with bones", most cheeses, "spicy food" and anything "non-American."

By contrast, the man said he considered himself "a bit more adventurous when it comes to food" which has left the couple at odds. "Whenever me and my girlfriend go out somewhere nice she ends up getting the same meals, usually either a burger or chicken tenders and fries," he explained. "We could be going to an authentic Nepalese restaurant and she will get the french fries and white rice. To me it's kind of embarrassing to go to a restaurant where there is a dress code and for her to order chicken tenders."

On top of the embarrassment, the man said he is often shelling out significant amounts of money so his partner can eat something they "could get from the freezer section at Walmart."

Things came to a head recently when a new restaurant opened close to where they live. According to the post, the man's girlfriend was "dying to go" but he was put off after taking a look at the "pricy" menu knowing she would most likely have something basic.

When she then picked up on his hesitancy, the man decided to lay it all out for her. "I told her that I thought it was a waste of time and money to go to a nice place to get little kid food," he said.

Though he claimed he was calling her eating habits "childish" rather than saying she behaved like a little kid, an argument soon erupted with the woman accusing him of thinking he was "better than her."

Commenting on the dispute, Terri DiMatteo, a relationship therapist, urged the woman to avoid taking a "defensive stance" regarding her food choices and instead "respond with maturity" to his criticism for the sake of their relationship.

"Remaining open, receptive, and interested will convey that he can bring his thoughts and feelings to her," DiMatteo told Newsweek. "She may ask clarifying questions to understand his experience better. If she acts defensively and they focus solely on her eating habit and his reaction, they risk more significant division between them without going deeper."

She also encouraged the woman to open up more about how her eating habits evolved from childhood and what caused her limited palette. "Her boyfriend might have more compassion and understanding for her eating habits if he could understand how they came about. Understanding can breed compassion," DiMatteo explained.

Those commenting on social media, meanwhile, were fully supportive of the man's stance. "Trying new cuisines or restaurants is about savoring the shared experience," one Redditor said. "He wants to share these experiences with someone who enjoys that as well." Another user agreed, writing: "The real appeal of trying a new place would be to try new foods. The chicken tenders can't be that different." Elsewhere, a third user suggested: "If she wants to go to the restaurant then she can pay for the meal and order whatever she wants."

DiMatteo ultimately concluded that open and honest discussion was required and that begins by creating a culture of "emotional safety" in the relationship. "Emotional safety occurs when each person can reassure the other of their love and express that the matter is upsetting, not because they don't care but because they do," she said. "With this backdrop of reassuring love, the couple is freer to express their feelings and thoughts with more remarkable candor."

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.