A pregnant woman refusing to drive her stepson around for three hours a day after giving birth is being backed online.
Sharing her issue with the Am I the A******? (AITA) subreddit, user u/throwawayyyy262 said she is pregnant with her first child, which is due at the end of December.
She is also helping to raise her 10-year-old stepson, with the boy living with her and her husband five days a week. The boy's school is a 45-minute drive away, meaning three hours a day are spent driving him back and forth.
The poster asked if her stepson can move to a school nearby, but her husband and his ex refused until the current school year is over. Throwawayyyy262 is concerned about spending so long on the road with a newborn after she gives birth, especially as it'll be in January with the cold and "Midwest snow." So, she asked her husband if his ex-wife can take over driving the child to school for a while.
"To my surprise, I got hit with 'Don't worry, bio-mom and I will figure out the arrangement for OUR son,'" she wrote.
"'I get that you will now have a different kid as a priority, but I'm sure that if SS was your bio son, you wouldn't have a problem doing what needs to be done for both kids.'"
The poster was deeply hurt by the comment, as she has cared for her stepson "like her own" since meeting her husband six years ago. As her husband and his ex both work long shifts, they can't do the school run, and the poster has no family nearby to lend a hand.
"AITA for asking for help after the baby is born?" she asked.
Redditors were horrified by the story, with the post receiving almost 8,000 upvotes and 1,700 comments.
According to Dr. Freda Singletary, a pediatrician at Rainbow Pediatrics, long car rides are unhealthy for both birth givers and babies.
"Newborns in car seats for hours could risk issues like difficulty breathing, a misshaped head from the pressure, and overheating," she told Newsweek.
It's also "risky" for someone who has just given birth to drive, particularly if they had a cesarean section or suffered other complications.
"Add in the typical new parent sleep deprivation and possibly medications, and it's a tough mix," said Singletary.
"Plus, newborns require frequent feeding and diaper changes, not to mention cuddle time."
Reddit users blasted the poster's husband, calling him "ignorant" and "hypocritical."
"He expects you to be up feeding a baby all night, then get 2 kids ready to go, drive an hour in very possibly bad weather at 6 or 7 am... there and back then again a couple hours later..." said Suspicious_West1161.
"This passive-aggressive s*** is concerning and emotionally manipulative," warned
Equivalent_Willow317.
"OP's husband is using her as a servant — all work, no say — and trying to guilt her into putting up with it," said calling_water.
"Funny how the decision of where he has to attend school is only between his bio parents, but when they need OP to be their personal driver for their kid she's not treating him like a real son," wrote noblestromana.
"That man's a walking red flag and it's quite sad that this woman will have to put up with his BS," commented Angoleca.
"Apparently ex wife still has the upper hand or even the heart of hubby. [Not the A******] for sure."
Newsweek reached out to u/throwawayyyy262 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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