Randy Newman Wrote a Song About Donald Trump's Penis

In case you weren't aware, Randy Newman is hilarious. He's also most certainly not a supporter of the current president of the United States, Donald J. Trump, or the president's Russian pal Vladimir Putin. On August 4, the legendary songwriter will release a new album that includes a song titled "Putin," which Newman released last year, about a month before the election.

"I dragged these peasants kicking and screaming into the 21st century," Newman sings. "I thought they'd make it I must have been dreaming. These chicken farmers and file clerks gonna be the death of me."

Vulture recently spoke with Newman about his forthcoming album, titled Dark Matter, and, of course, about his thoughts on the current presidential administration. When asked if he ever thought about writing about Trump, Newman replied that he had in fact done so, but it was never released because the language was too "vulgar" and it "felt too easy." Thankfully, he remembered the lyrics.

My dick's bigger than your dick
It ain't braggin' if it's true
My dick's bigger than your dick
I can prove it too
There it is! There's my dick
Isn't that a wonderful sight?
Run to the village, to town, to the countryside
Tell the people what you've seen here tonight.

The chorus, said Newman, went, "'What a dick!' Duh-duh-duh. 'What a dick!'"

"I just didn't want to add to the problem of how ugly the conversation we're all having is," he said, "so I didn't put it out."

Newman's tongue-in-cheek takedowns of Putin and Trump shouldn't come as a surprise. The songwriter has a history of touching on politics, often in humorous ways. In 2012, he released "I'm Dreaming of a White President."

On his 1974 album Good Old Boys, Newman took on Huey Long, the early 20th century Louisiana populist to whom Trump was compared throughout the 2016 campaign. On a radio show last week, Newman was asked about how Trump relates to Long.

"Well, Long was smarter than this guy, and Long was probably corrupt in terms of money also," Newman said, as was transcribed by Variety. "They're different fellows. There's vaguely that sort of populist thing.... It's just like Hitler's campaign. Hitler opened playing clubs, much like I did—playing little rooms to 30 people. He started—you know, when I hear people in show business talking like this, I fucking hate it and now I'm doing it! At any rate, he started playing little rooms, and his thing was he picked 'the other,' like this guy [Trump] has done, [Hitler] picked the Jews. He told people things were worse than they really were, which was hard to do in 1923 in Germany, but he did, and he told them, 'We're going to clean out the pigsty.' It's just like him [Trump]!"

Newman didn't tell Vulture if he actually recorded his "vulgar" song about our current president. We can only hope that he did, and that maybe if Trump's real-life vulgarity continues to escalate, Newman would reconsider releasing it.