Reason Why Woman Refuses To Donate Kidney To Dying Sister Backed

A woman has been backed online after sharing why she's decided to decline helping her dying sister in an explosive social media post.

The woman, who goes by u/SmoothKitchen4410 on Reddit, revealed that she has refused to donate one of her kidneys to her dangerously ill sibling due to a childhood history of bullying between the pair.

"My sister has been battling kidney failure for the past year, and her doctors have informed us that she urgently needs a transplant to survive," the 28-year-old woman wrote.

"Here's the thing: growing up, my sister made my life a living hell. She constantly belittled me, called me names, and even physically bullied me. It was relentless, and it left me with deep emotional scars that I still carry to this day."

"Despite all the pain she caused me, I've tried to forgive her and move on, but she's never once apologized or shown any remorse for her actions. Now, with her life hanging in the balance, my family is pressuring me to donate one of my kidneys to her. They say that it's the only chance she has, and that I would be heartless to refuse," she added.

The woman went on to say that she "can't shake the feeling of resentment" she feels towards her 30-year-old sister.

"Why should I sacrifice a part of myself for someone who never showed me an ounce of kindness or compassion? I know it sounds selfish, but I just can't bring myself to do it," she concluded.

Expert Verdict: Assess Your Options

Newsweek consulted Rachel Goldberg, a licensed marriage and family therapist, for her take.

"This situation is incredibly complex. It's understandable that the woman feels conflicted about her decision, considering the pain she experienced at the hands of her sister," Goldberg told Newsweek.

"Her sister's lack of acknowledgment or apology, along with the family's expectation for her to step up, only adds to her struggle. It may be the case that her family didn't protect her growing up and are still not acknowledging what she went through creating a desire to turn her back to them."

"The idea of helping stirs up her feelings of betrayal and resentment that her own needs are consistently overlooked. It's important for her to separate herself from family influence to truly consider her feelings and potential outcomes," she added.

The family therapist advises the woman to "ponder" how she might feel if she chose not to step up and if her sister passes away as a result.

"While donating could lead to a happy resolution and finally an acknowledgement of her being a hero despite what she went through, there's a risk of perpetuating the same dynamic of prioritizing the family's needs over her own," Goldberg said.

"Ultimately, she'll need to live with her decision, and it's a common phenomenon for people to regret decisions influenced by anger or resentment later in life, even if they felt justified."

What Do The Comments Say?

Since it had been shared to the social media platform on February 18 by u/SmoothKitchen4410, the Reddit post has been upvoted by over 10,000 users and commented on more than 4,000 times. The majority of users engaging with the post have validated or cheered on the woman's decision.

"As a former donor, you have to pass a series of medical tests. The most important test is a psychological test. Considering your feelings and the pressure from your family, it is highly unlikely you would pass," one user wrote.

"It's absolutely a requirement for a living donor to be 100 percent willing and wanting to donate their organ without any sort of pressure or coercion whatsoever. If they ARE being pressured, coerced, or otherwise forced in any manner whatsoever-including being paid for their donation, organ procurement organizations will not allow the potential organ donor to donate an organ," another user added.

A third user wrote: "You're not the a****** but I would suggest you get some counselling no matter how things go."

Newsweek reached out to u/SmoothKitchen4410 for more information via Reddit.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.