Internet Slams Wife for Refusing to Help Pay for Husband's Medical Bills

A wife has been criticized online after confessing to refusing to borrow money to cover her husband's medical bill.

The 31-year-old anonymous wife took to popular Subreddit "Am I the A**hole" seeking opinions on her dilemma, on which she gained almost 10,000 interactions.

After explaining that she's been married to her husband for three years, and that they don't share finances, she divulged that after he found himself lumped with a medical bill he couldn't pay, she refused to lend a helping hand.

According to the wife, her husband is "pretty adamant on being respected when it comes to money, meaning I should not be asking him for money to pay for personal stuff, and the same goes for him. Save for when it's an emergency."

"Last month, I was at the mall shopping for a dress to wear at my sister's wedding and the money wasn't enough. I called my husband to ask him for the money, about $200, but he refused, even though he had the money. I wasn't upset...well yes I'm not going to lie, I was upset about it cause I ended up buying a cheaper dress but I didn't make a fuss or fight with him," she began, adding context to her dilemma.

She continued to explain that when he asked if he'd get the money back for the dress if he chose to lend it, she said no, "because if I had the money and wasn't struggling I wouldn't have asked for his help in the first place."

A few weeks ago, she wrote, her husband was involved in a car accident. Despite not being serious, it resulted in a knee injury.

"He asked if I could help him pay for the hospital bill because he didn't expect to stay longer due to his injury, but I refused. He begged but I said no was still no," she admitted, adding that he promised to pay back any borrowed money.

"He tried to guilt me into paying by saying that I have money, and that he's dealing with an emergency. I said his irresponsibility whether with money or driving wasn't my problem. He ended up getting help from his mom. In fact, she paid for the entire bill then grilled me hard about my refusal to pay," wrote the wife.

After his mom called the wife various insults, the husband "sided with her" leading to an argument in the marriage.

"He looked at me in disbelief, called me insane and said that I was at fault for not helping him because, unlike the dress incident, this was actually an emergency, even said I stepped out of line to act this petty and vindictive," she wrote.

Arguments surrounding money are far from rare. According to a Fidelity survey, 44 percent of married couples argue about money with their spouse occasionally while one in five say money is the biggest issue in their relationship.

The husband's scenario is also commonplace. Research from the Kaiser Family Foundation in 2016 suggests that 37 percent of Americans with medical bill problems were left needing to borrow money from friends or family.

Finances can be a deep-cutting subject for many, which is exactly why it provided such intense responses to the popular online post.

For the most part, many sided with the husband, citing the strong difference between borrowing money for a dress and for a medical bill.

"She got pissed that she wasn't able to buy a dress she couldn't afford and decided to take it out on her husband who had a legitimate emergency (even after stating that they don't share money unless it's an emergency)," wrote one user. "I don't like that his mom harassed her but it sounds like he looped her into helping with the bill and at that point at least to me she gets to have an opinion."

The detail that the wife was not willing to pay back for the dress, but the husband was for his bill was the deciding factor for others, with one writing: "If she had said she'd pay him back for the dress, then it'd be a somewhat asshole move of him to say no. But a dress isn't an emergency, and she even found a cheaper dress anyway. Then she held it over his head when he had an actual emergency, and said he'd pay her back."

"This was an emergency. And he needed your help, yet you shut him down because of not wanting to mix finances. Spouses help each other out, especially when it comes to injuries or something serious like this. The fact is you were absolutely being petty and cruel with him and that was uncalled for. I understand your stance, but that wasn't the way to handle it," added another, before reasoning that they are both in the wrong.

"He was an a**hole for how he reacted and his mother certainly shouldn't have made those comments towards you," they continued. "In conclusion, both of you behaved childishly and immaturely and refused to act like adults. In marriage, you work together and you both need to learn how to do that."

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Taking it one step further, some even suggested the married couple should reconsider their marriage on account of their feelings towards each other.

"I feel like if the situation was reversed, he might not have helped her pay the hospital bill. But I could be me assuming the worst. Either way, this isn't a working or healthy marriage. Like if you're not down to support each other or work as a couple, then just be single," wrote one.

Another added: "I always think that with posts like these. Like, are you married or just roommates who sleep together? I don't think there's anything wrong with having some degree of separation in your finances, but the level of mutual spite and vindictiveness in OP's marriage is crazy."