Woman Calling Cops After Dad Lent out Her Car to Aunt Backed: 'Mine'

A woman has been backed for reporting her car stolen despite knowing who was behind the wheel.

In a viral Reddit post, u/ContractWaste6597 explained her mom passed away and now her 56-year-old dad lives with her. Recently, he has been lending her car to her aunt without her permission, the user said.

As a result of this, the 32-year-old woman said she called the cops and her aunt has been left "traumatized." The post has received more than 8,500 upvotes and other users have sided with the original poster (OP).

Newsweek reached out to a parenting expert who said: "Acting from a place of anger rarely serves us in the long run."

In this case, the OP had hit breaking point as her father, who she assumes is depressed, had lent her car out on more than one occasion without first checking.

"I work from home [and] only occasionally meet clients for lunch or at their workplace. So my car usually sits for days on end. My father got the idea that I didn't really need a car for myself and when my aunt's car broke down, he started letting her borrow mine. Without my permission," she wrote.

The OP suggested he lends out his "full-size truck" but her aunt isn't comfortable driving it.

"I said I didn't care and needed my vehicle to be available. He said that family helps family. I said my car was mine and not to be lent out. I spoke with my aunt and told her to stop asking for my car.

"He decided to test my patience. He trapped me in the garage with his truck and left the house one day when he knew I had a meeting. I had to Uber to the meeting. I was almost late. I was absolutely livid. When I got home, his car was still there but my car was gone. My aunt had needed it for appointments."

As a result of this, the OP asked her dad to move out as he was "inconveniencing" her.

"He is actively sabotaging my job. He cried that he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. I gave him one last chance."

However, he lent out the car again and the OP discovered he had a car key cut for her aunt. So she decided to report the car as stolen to the police. She said the car has a tracker in it, making it easy to find.

Following the call to the cops, she turned off her phone and went shopping.

"I feel bad for wasting the cops' time and my family says my aunt was traumatized. My dad is moving in with her now.

"I did drop the charges and clear everything up. But my family is still mad at me. I am mostly mad at my father but my aunt bore the brunt."

Newsweek spoke to London-based parenting coach Caroline Rowett, who said it is helpful to set boundaries with family members as grownups.

"There is often a complicated web of past interactions at play that need untangling to move forward into a healthy adult-to-adult relationship.

"Whether we are an adult child setting boundaries with a parent or vice-versa, it's wise to analyze the limits we wish to create carefully and give ourselves the time to think about what is causing us to set them."

Rowett had the following questions about the viral post:

• Was the daughter not allowing her aunt to use her car simply due to the inconvenience, or was she unconsciously needing to assert control and demand autonomy and independence as she may have done with her father as a toddler or teenager?
• Was she reacting through a lens of hurt created by his past punishments? Or was it something else?

She said: "Analyzing what drives our actions is challenging, but whenever we find ourselves being inflexible, it is worth adding a dash of curiosity to our motives."

Rowett recommended taking time to "think deeply" so we can communicate the problem with "clarity, calmness, and confidence."

"Once done, if we ask the other person what they think and listen without interrupting, their concerns can be addressed from the start. We may discover a viewpoint we hadn't considered. Perhaps the father's struggles with depression, grief, and powerlessness would be aired.

"Maybe he notices that he is working through past feelings of inadequacy and unconsciously hoping to punish his daughter for all the times she failed to adhere to his boundaries. Or better yet, he may be able to fully consider the impact of disregarding his daughter's request."

Rowett added: "We connect better and set the standard for future conversations through listening. The positive impact of listening and being listened to is often underestimated. In this case, perhaps the rupture in the relationship between a daughter and her father could have been avoided.

"We cannot control other people's actions, so there is no guarantee that the boundary we request will be respected. If, however, the limit is overstepped and we give ourselves space to explore our reactions and work through our feelings first, we will generally make better choices in how we respond. Acting from a place of anger rarely serves us in the long run."

What Do the Comments Say?

Almost 1,000 people have responded to the post and the top comment alone has received over 11,900 upvotes. It said: "Not the a******. Your aunt KNOWINGLY took your car without asking your permission. That is YOUR car, not your father's. I had to LOL at "family helps family." HELLO? You're putting your dad up and taking care of his affairs! He meant "OP, I get to decide what you do with your possessions, even when you tell me 'No'.

"Your father said he was sorry and "wouldn't do it again". You set up a (very simple) boundary. He broke it (again). So, what else were you supposed to think when your car has vanished? You've already played it his way (wait until the car is returned, then listen to him say he won't do it again, but then he does it again, rinse and repeat). Frankly, I think you did the right thing. Your aunt is not innocent here—you told her NOT TO USE YOUR CAR!! Why can't SHE Uber to her appointments—her schedule is not your responsibility. Now you have your car, and your dad is moving in with her. I'd say that's a win-win. You've done way more than your share."

"This is so well articulated, but you missed my favorite point—how is it no one had OP's number to ASK about borrowing the car but magically found it when they needed to get aunt out of trouble with the cops? Amazing," said another.