Wife Slammed for Demanding Partner Attends the Birth of Their First Baby

A man has found himself between a rock and a hard place after refusing to join his wife in the delivery room when she elected to give birth to their child via a caesarean section.

In a Reddit post, user TAccountAita, whom Newsweek has contacted for comment, explains that he doesn't like the operating room, or hospitals in general. "When my ex-wife had her c-section, she had a complication and hovered between life and death for a long time. It was a horrible experience to feel so helpless," he wrote.

He revealed that his ex-wife asked him to stay outside the delivery room for the birth of their second child. Despite dealing with the trauma in therapy, when his current wife became pregnant, he said: "I made it very clear that I didn't care what her choice of delivery was, but c-section I would not enter, but that I would stay by her side at all times except for operation. She agreed and eventually became pregnant."

His wife decided to have a caesarean section and the couple agreed that her mother would stay with her in the delivery room, but on the day of the surgery she changed her mind "because she wanted a moment of our own."

"I apologized, but that this was my limit and that I couldn't," said the OP, and reported that his wife is now accusing him of abandoning her and her most vulnerable, and saying she is disappointed in him as a partner.

Births by caesarean section have been on the rise in the U.S. over the past 25 years, and their prevalence increased by 32 percent in 2021, according to a report from the National Center for Health Statistics, which is part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"Nervous dads are a part of the job. It's a scary experience to be in an operating room, let alone during the birth of your child," Dr. Nathan Riley, an obstetrician and gynecologist, told Newsweek.

"I would ask, "What have we done to assuage or allay their fears or anxieties around the scary realities of an operating room," he said. "What man in their right mind isn't nervous if a c-section is called for during childbirth?"

He continued: "Adequate counseling and preparation way ahead of time should be standard practice. In my practice, I provide a lot of counseling to prepare men not only for the realities of this exciting experience but also to honor the opportunity that childbirth brings for a man to embrace their masculinity in its entirety and complexities.

"I encourage people to prepare mentally and emotionally for this experience as soon as you get pregnant. But don't dwell on the possibility. Just be open to the possibility. And if you trust your doctor when they recommend a c-section, ask them if you can cater the operating room in such as way that might optimize the experience. Ambient music, less crosstalk, not strapping down arms, stellar communication with the anesthesiologist during labor, and reminding your nurse, doctor, and other staff about the important of various facets of the birth plan can make a c-section tolerable."

The OP was voted "not the a******" by Reddit users.

"You don't know how many dads I've had to take care of after they pass out in the delivery room as the unit secretary," commented one user.

"Yeah, OR nurse here who's done plenty of terrible c-sections. Most people outside of an OR aren't prepared for the volume of blood loss, the stress or general chaotic nature of an OR when things go south," said another.

"I'm 48 hours off a c section. If my husband had expressed his desire to remain outside I would have honored it. Why would she want a potential liability there anyway?" shared another user.

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