Survivor 45 Recap: The Nerds Take Control of the Game

Sorry everybody else, but the nerds have taken control of Survivor 45. And isn't it about time they got some credit? I mean, last season Carson was out there on his little solo nerd island in the end, so it's nice to see the nerds coming together to, well, nerd out, if you will.

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OK, so to catch you up to speed, you can totally read my recap from last week, but here's the gist: there were two Tribal Councils, which was confusing, so go read the recap for that explanation. But Bruce, who is perpetually talked about as the one to be voted out, somehow survived the vote (again). And Jake made a big move to save Kaleb. But ultimately Sifu was voted out first (not on the jury) and then Kaleb (the first member of the jury).

At the beginning of this episode, Jake is convinced he's on the chopping block because of that previously mentioned big move that failed, and he needs to make nice, especially with the leaders of what appears to be a female alliance—six women remain, four men. While he's able to make good with Julie, he's clearly high on the list to go home. Meanwhile, that female alliance, yeah, it's a thing... for most of em. But one thing is clear, everyone wants Bruce to go home. (Poor guy... or is this his plan?!)

Then a boat shows up, which is always an exciting moment on Survivor because it either means something big is going to happen or Jeff Probst really wants to make a dramatic entrance. In this situation the boat indicates the return of the Survivor auction, which hasn't been a feature of the game since Survivor 30 in 2015. (This is very exciting news for most Survivor fans, because it means they're going to eat fun food, but I'm always a little anxious about it because it's always like four yummy options and then shark butt or something. Ain't nobody need to see that on a Wednesday night.)

The Auction

How this auctions works is they have to hunt through the jungle for little bamboo tubes. Each tube has a different amount of money. In the end, the amount of money they find is how much they can spend at the auction. But Jeff has some tricks up his sleeve when it comes to the auction.

First, he draws a rock (again, more of these damn rocks) with a number on it. Only he can see the number on it. That number is how many items will be auctioned off, and the players have no idea what's the last auctioned item. Why does that matter? Well, the person left with the most money at the end of the auction will lose their vote at Tribal Council. See, Jeff was able to fit all that up his sleeve. Wild!

The auction started with Austin having $700, Bruce had $80 (he didn't want to run during the hunt, which I get it, I only walk briskly), Dee had $900, Drew had $520, Emily had $500, Jake had $340, Julie had $420, Katurah had $480, Kellie had $700, and Kendra had $360.

Let's go over these items now. Kendra got beer and pretzels for $360. Kellie purchased fries and soda for $500. Emily (my girl) got a whole cheese and meat plate with wine for $440. She even ended up doing a little dance, which was sort of like Elaine's bad dance on Seinfeld, and I very much related to her in this moment. Dee bought a chocolate milkshake for $900! Katurah spent $480 for a mystery item which ended up being fish eyes. She passed on em, and Austin spent $100 to taste them, which frankly none of us needed to see but hey, good for him. (I especially loved the sound effects they added for this moment, which were just as gross as you're probably imagining.) Drew purchased a bowl of candy for $520, meanwhile Austin got a slice of pepperoni pizza for $600, which he said was "a little bit better than the eye." Yeah Austin, we know it was. Poor Julie purchased a toothbrush and toothpaste for $420, which probably will make her dentist proud. (And let's be real, that's how much he'd charge her anyhow.) My favorite one was Jake's purchase of a chocolate cake for $340, which he was able to share with Bruce and Julie. Oh, and Kellie spent the rest of her money on a margarita, chips and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

And then, after item 10, everyone wondered, will there be another item?! Nope. Which means Bruce was left with the most money in the end ($80) and will lose his vote at Tribal Council. This would make everyone happy, but like, he has an immunity idol and he's not afraid to use it. But will he need to?!

Actually, Jeff Probst breaks down everything about the auction on the official Survivor podcast On Fire. Definitely worth a listen.

The Challenge

Before the challenge, Emily confesses she's not totally on board with this all-women alliance. You see, she's got something going on with fellow nerd Drew and Austin (honorary nerd). She tells Drew she wants to work with him and then tells him that the other women are indeed plotting an all-women's alliance. Drew kind of loves this, because he wants Bruce out. So he plots with Emily to bring Katurah into the mix, who has made it known she hates Bruce. He even tells her she should lead this play, which really just takes the spotlight off of him. (Smart nerd being smart. Love to see it.) And if Bruce plays that idol, then Jake is out. Done. Easy. Game over. Or is it?!

At the challenge, everyone is presented with a big pole and a rope. Basically, they have to hold 1/3rd of their pre-game bodyweight and the last person holding in the end wins immunity at the next Tribal Council. But then Jeff is like, let's make things sweeter. So he offers up this bag of rice, which they can have if four players offer to sit out the challenge. Dee and Emily offer to sit out first, and then Jeff takes a knife to the bag, rice spilling everywhere, and it will only stop when two more players offer themselves up. The drama! The stress! Drew and Katurah step up to make the four. Phew, they got their rice.

Everyone is watching Bruce during the challenge. He cannot win immunity, because it will screw up everyone's plans. Guess what? He wins immunity. (LOL.) What's that saying, Oprah laughs when you make plans. (Oprah is my God.) Anyway, now they have some plotting to do.

Since Bruce isn't going anywhere—to which Katurah yells, "You gotta be kidding me!"—all eyes turn to Jake. He made a big stinker last week and is really only aligned with Bruce at this point. Everyone seems fine with Jake being the one to go home, but then Drew pulls out his super nerd card and decides to offer another option. (A real nerd always has a back up plan.)

You see, he recognizes how much power Kellie has in the game. If he wants to play with Emily and Austin, he needs to stop her before she gets too much power. He also says getting her out now would then guarantee Bruce and Jake being on the outs in the next two tribals. He shares this idea with Emily, Austin, Dee and Julie, the latter two aren't as sure as Drew, Austin and Emily. But no more talking, it's time for Tribal Council.

Tribal Council

Jake tries to make some sort of argument, but he's scatterbrained. It's like he's trying to find his words to save himself, but he just can't do it. Jeff goes to others around him, and as they start to explain the strategy, Jakes finds his words. He says he feels like it's an all against one moment (him) and he doesn't think that's a good game play. He even suggests he might have an idol. (He doesn't, don't worry.)

They vote, and everyone seems convinced it's Jake. Before Jeff reads the votes, Jake plays his shot in the dark, which forfeits his vote but if it reads "safe" he's safe, you get the gist. Well, turns out he's not safe. (This dude can't catch a break.)

Jeff reads the votes, and it's looking like it's going to be Jake. But then when Jeff gets to the fourth vote, it reads Kellie. She's shocked. Then every vote after that is for Kellie. She's out, and legit doesn't know what to do. She picks up her stuff, asking people around her, "did you do this?" (Yes Kellie, they all did.) Jake is so excited by this turnout that he yells, "Whoa!" like only someone from Boston can.

Wow, Bruce and Jake, two that should have been on the bottom, somehow remain on the island, and one of the star players is out. It just goes to show you, trust no one in Survivor, especially a couple nerds.

Next week's preview shows just how much everyone is turning on each other. Oh, and apparently three people who lose the challenge won't have a vote at Tribal Council. What is going on?!?!

Who Needs to Get Snuffed?

Listen, I might be hyping Drew's game play here, but I kind of want him out. Like all this strategy is just setting up an exciting moment for Emily to blindside him. And you know what? I want to watch that moment. (Preferably with a snack.)

Who Should be the Sole Survivor?

I'm back to Emily. It needs to be her. She's the one this episode that gave Drew the information he needed to plot the things he did. She knows what she's doing, and I love to see it.

Watch Survivor every Wednesday on CBS or anytime on Paramount+ to follow along as I react to every episode this season.