Talking to the Dead Can Help You Grieve This Thanksgiving and Christmas

In addition to being times of warmth and happiness, Thanksgiving and Christmas can also be painful reminders about loved ones who are no longer with us. Finding ways to cope can reduce stress and help us enjoy these times of year more. One of the most surprising strategies may also be the most powerful: talking to the dead.

Although often associated with the supernatural or belief systems about the afterlife, talking to the dead is a simple way to connect with the memory of a loved one. Ellen Carni, a psychologist with a private practice in New York and who specializes in grief explained that this strategy isn't as unusual as it sounds.

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"It's very common to talk to loved ones [who have died]," said Carni. "It's more common at the beginning, and over time it will get better, but it's OK to talk to the [dead] person as long as it's not at the expense of talking to other people."

One of the most famous advocates of talking to dead loved ones may be singer Celine Dion, who told People that she still regularly speaks with her deceased husband, René Angélil. Dion explained that she consults a photograph of Angélil for guidance on major decisions and asks him to give her a "sign" if he does not agree with her choices.

There is even a psychology treatment that involves actively encouraging patients to interact with their deceased loved ones. The approach, known as empty chair treatment, is derived from a vein of psychology called Gestalt therapy, which was developed by Fritz and Laura Perls in the 1940s. In empty chair treatment, an individual acts out a conversation with a nonpresent partner. According to Carni, it's especially helpful for patients who are going through an especially difficult grief and may have an unresolved argument or may simply want to say goodbye and never had a chance.

Related: The death of a child: understanding the grief facing Charlie Gard's parents

Some people may turn to psychics to provide some leverage into a conversation that can feel rather awkward. "I think it's a very individual choice," said Carni. As long as the individuals take whatever message they receive from a psychic "with a grain of salt," the conversation could help a person heal. But, said Carni, "I wouldn't recommend going on a daily basis."

Or you may be more inclined to connect with a deceased loved one via Chatbot. The technology takes emails and text messages from the dearly departed in order to adopt their personality and give you virtual replies that mirror what they may have said, The Guardian reported. The technology was created by Eugenia Kuyda, who created the bot after her best friend died in a car accident. Although the concept may be strange, and dangerously close to a Black Mirror episode, Kuyda told The Guardian that she didn't create the technology to replace the deceased but rather to help with the grieving process.

"It's not about pretending someone's alive. It's about accepting it and thinking and talking about it, and not staying in denial," she said.

However you choose to connect with the dead, accepting your personal approach can also bring some relief. "If you know that and you give yourself permission to grieve," says Carni, "then it's OK to enjoy the holidays and not feel guilty about doing so."