A teenager has been backed online after denying her grandmother's somewhat puzzling request after prom night.
In a post on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA****** (AITA) channel, 16-year-old u/IcyReplacement2707 explained that she came to blows with her nan after the duo went prom dress shopping with her mom.
"I found a lovely dress and my Mum and Nan both paid half each for the dress," said the Redditor. "As I was getting ready on my prom night, my Nan starts saying how she 'would love to try it on at the weekend' and 'she loves it so much.' I ignore her and get ready for my prom."
The teenager went to her prom and forgot all about the conversation, until two days later when her grandmother asked to borrow the dress for a party.
"I flat out said 'No.' She then goes on a rant about how 'she paid half for the dress therefore she gets to wear it' and won't let up," said the teen. "I feel guilty for insisting on her never wearing it but I also think that it's very clearly MY dress and I don't want her to wear it."
While this family is at war over the dress, for some, prom dresses are the perfect way for families to come together—like the teenager who wore her mom's 1990s prom dress in a heartwarming viral clip.
Therapist, hypnotherapist and relationship coach Vic Paterson told Newsweek: "Arguments are more likely to occur when people simply don't understand each other's perspectives."
Despite the family members being close in age—mom is 35 and grandma is 54—Paterson explained that it isn't always easier for them to see eye to eye.
"When arguments between similar ages do occur, they can be more confrontational as each party is likely to feel the other should 'understand' as they are the same age. The younger a person is, the more likely they are to take direct, confrontational approaches towards arguments, too," she explained.
Paterson said that it was clear that the Redditor and her grandmother view the dress differently—with the teenager having an emotional connection to her prom dress and her grandmother seeing it as simply an item of clothing.
"For the granddaughter, who has had no such significant life events, this dress is an important talisman in her journey towards adulthood; it may be the dress her first serious boyfriend admired her in, the dress she first slow-danced in, the first time she truly saw herself as a young woman," said Paterson.
Relationship therapist Rhian Kivits told Newsweek that "ultimately, the dress belongs to the granddaughter and regardless of the fact she is the younger family member, it's up to her whether she lends her dress to someone else.
"Gifts don't belong to the giver once they've been handed over and so the grandma doesn't have any claim on the dress," she added.
In over 1,300 comments, Redditors seemed to agree.
"They bought you the dress as a gift, it belongs to you now. She has the right to ask you if she can wear it and you have the right to say no," said Reddit user multibo.
While Kindly_Egg_7480 said: "Aside from her thinking she gets to share the dress because she paid for it—that is not how gifts work, ever—this is a weird request. Like borrowing a graduation gown or a wedding dress for a night out. Is she jealous of you or competing with you?"
Newsweek reached out to u/IcyReplacement2707 via Reddit for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.
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Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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Alice Gibbs is a Newsweek Senior Internet Trends & Culture Reporter based in the U.K. For the last two years ... Read more
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