Undertaker Reveals What Happens to Loved Ones: 'So Much People Don't Know'

Death, though a natural part of life, often remains shrouded in mystery. Lily Le Fauve, a 33-year-old funeral director and embalming apprentice in Oregon, is on a mission to unravel these mysteries using a blend of education and compassion.

Her transition from a student to a seasoned funeral director and embalming apprentice has armed her with a wealth of knowledge that she imparts online to thousands of followers on TikTok.

"There is so much people don't know. And maybe it's the not knowing that can seem so scary," Le Fauve told Newsweek.

According to a 2019 survey of 1220 U.S. adults ages 18 or older by YouGov, 31 percent said they were somewhat afraid of death, while 11 percent said they were very afraid of death.

In a 2006 paper, David San Filippo of National Louis University theorized that for most people, the fear of death stems from the fear of the unknown—something that Le Fauve hopes to tackle with her content.

The funeral industry is booming in the U.S. In 2022, it was estimated to be worth just over $19 billion, a significant increase of roughly three billion since 2021.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) 3,464,231 people died in America in 2021, the majority from heart disease, followed by cancer. The national trend was mirrored in Oregon, with the most recently available data from 2021 showing that 44,981 people died that year. The most common cause of death in Oregon was cancer, followed by heart disease.

Le Fauve imparts her knowledge on TikTok, covering various aspects of death care, including cremation, embalming, caskets and ashes. Her content aims to answer questions that society often avoids regarding these sensitive topics.

Addressing one of her most requested topics, Le Fauve recently shared how a funeral home closes the deceased's mouth—a procedure she approaches with empathy and professionalism.

"When a person passes, their mouth opens with the relaxing of the muscles," she explained, drawing from personal experience. "Leaving the mouth open can be a jarring sight for families. Even as someone who has worked in the industry, the shock still gets to me at times. The feeling of ease and how much more at peace the person looks after their mouth is closed is kind of incredible."

In one video, a viewer asked how funeral workers dress a body once it is stiff. Lily explained: "Rigor only lasts about 12 hours after someone has passed," revealing it usually starts around two hours after death and then passes after 12 hours when the body no longer will be stiff.

One video addresses what happens to the eyes of the deceased with a viewer reaching out to Lily to say: "I was told by an usher at our local funeral home that eyes are taken out and replaced with cotton. Is that true?"

"Oh boy," Le Fauve sighed in response. "No. We do not remove your loved one's eyes. However, if your loved one is an eye donor, and their eyes are removed, then we do fill the eye socket with cotton."

But she clarified: "Whether or not it's with cotton or they still have their eyeballs, we use eye caps to keep the eyes closed."

Le Fauve acknowledged that sometimes the details and inner workings of what happens behind closed doors at a funeral home can be shocking, but she hopes to deliver important information in a useful way.

"They all sound a little scary, but I like to tell people that a lot of things on death care are unfortunately not delicate, but they are all done with reverence and respect," she said.

Viewers on TikTok seem to be responding to her videos, too, with many thanking her for sharing the ins and outs of death care.

GreenGlowingMonkey on TikTok said: "I admire the tone you're setting with this video. Knowing the asker has some anxiety about fire contacting the body and being kind with the answer."

While another viewer said: "Thank you thank you thank you for speaking on this."

Through her engaging content, Le Fauve hopes to shed light on the often-overlooked aspects of the funeral industry, aiming to demystify death and offer comfort to those grappling with the unknown.