Why I Keep My Kids Away From Guns, Drugs, and iPads | Opinion

Five and a half hours. That's the average daily amount of screen time for kids 8-12, according to Common Sense Media.

If you think that's bad, the number is over eight and a half hours for teens.

For my three kids, ages 5-7, the total amount of time they've spent in their lives on Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram is zero. And that's the correct amount. They're also not allowed to go on YouTube, use iPads, or use cell phones for any purpose other than maybe to speak to grandma.

They've never played a video game and can only watch movies that we select for our once-a-month movie nights, and so far there have been only a few. Each of them has watched maybe two hours of television in their lives.

Are they miserable because of it? Are they beating their heads against the walls? No, quite the opposite. They're honestly and truly probably the happiest kids I've ever seen, and I've worked with children for over two decades.

Why is this? Well, first off, they're not dependent on electronics in any way. Unlike other kids, they won't freak out if you take away their phone, iPad, or video game. Instead, they spend every day reading, building forts, playing outside, making art, running around supermarkets, jumping on the furniture, et cetera. We bake, do read-alouds, and have adventures.

As for their education, all of them are way above their peers and growing.

To be clear: My kids are no better than yours. Really. To me they're the greatest, but they are not marked by any special ability. They just haven't had the life and creativity drained out of them by YouTube, TV, and social media apps.

Some of you, I'm sure, are saying, "But I only let my kids use educational apps!" You're fooling yourself. As a study from Penn State revealed, these apps are predominantly useless. Researchers tested over a hundred of the most popular ones and found them to be almost universally of low educational quality. They also noted the major costs involved, like the fact that using an iPad takes away from reading time and physical activity.

It's time to recognize that reading and distraction machines are opposites, and that your child is not going to become a great reader or innovative genius from watching videos. If you're thinking, "Except, my child is a visual learner," I have more bad news for you. That's also a myth. In fact, we all learn in similar ways, and it's been shown that reading is a far superior learning method.

As for social media, to be fair, there are some positive aspects. Some kids, like those in the LGBTQ community, are able to connect through it and feel more comfortable in their own skin. Yet it's clear that the negatives greatly outweigh the positives. Even a lot of the kids themselves recognize this. Only 34 percent say they like using social media "a lot." So why do so many use it for so long anyhow? Well, according to data from Statista, 40 percent say they're addicted. They need the social approbation. With it, though, comes a lot of social pressure to conform.

For that reason, the policies for my kids will not change. I will not expose them to the torture of having to worry about how many likes or views they've received.

You might argue that my kids are living in a bubble, that they won't be able to avoid the social media monster, and that I'm making them into social pariahs.

First off, I'm okay with them being social pariahs if it means they won't be like so many kids I see today who are depressed, unable to read a book, or sit for a movie, and can't hold up a conversation.

This is not just my imagination. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said that "there is growing evidence that social media use is associated with harm to young people's mental health." He's issued a warning to parents that has largely been supported by mental health experts and other doctors, including pediatricians. Murthy cited one large-scale analysis that found that the introduction of Facebook alone seemed to lead to an increase in depression of 9 percent above the base and a 12 percent rise in generalized anxiety.

The New York Times reported that there was a near-60 percent increase in suicide rates for people ages 10-24 from 2007 to 2018. A shocking 13 percent of adolescents admitted to having a "major depressive episode" in 2019. This can't be a coincidence.

Kids are also more distracted. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the number of kids diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) rose from 4.4 percent to 6 percent from 2003 to 2019, a 36 percent increase. Sure, some of it may be a trend toward increased diagnosis, but we have to also consider the impact of so many young kids sitting in front of screens with constant distractions.

As for their ambitions, 86 percent of young Americans want to be social media influencers, according to Morning Consult. A YouGov survey found that the most popular occupation choice for kids 13-17 is to be a vlogger/streamer (9 percent). Six percent of males consider being an esports gamer their dream job. Compare this to 1 percent for "astronaut" and 2 percent for "scientist."

Something is seriously wrong here. Too many kids aren't living real lives, but only virtual ones. And every parent should be concerned about this. Don't hand your 8-year-old a beer or an iPad. They really can't handle either.

Ross Rosenfeld is a political writer and educator based on Long Island.

The views expressed in this article are the writer's own.