Why You Should Ask for a Demotion at Work, From Someone Who Has

The word "demotion" fills most people with dread, but what if it was actually the best thing you could do not only for your career, but also your wellbeing?

That's exactly what Meghan Murphy, 28, from Memphis, Tennessee, discovered when her promotion into talent management wasn't all she'd hoped it would be.

"I'm the kind of person, like a lot of us, who wants to further their career and have impact and also help where it's needed," she told Newsweek. "I saw this gap in my organization and I had some expertise there, so even though the new position wasn't a passion for me I started to take on some extra responsibility there to advance my career."

The realization that her promotion was not the right step for her came pretty quickly for Meghan. "In 2022 I was hired by my company as a recruiter, then in February this year I was promoted to senior people and talent partner and quickly realized that the role was not what I wanted to do, and asked to be demoted back to a recruiter."

Murphy described "the cherry on top" of her dissatisfaction as the realization that despite taking on more responsibility, she wasn't actually in control of any of the decision-making in her new role.

"I wasn't actually in control of things I thought I would be in control of, so didn't have the impact I thought I would. I realized within a couple of weeks, I'm doing things I don't want to do, I don't have the support or autonomy to get everything done properly, it's draining my energy having to put all this time and effort into this role and I realized that I'm unhappy."

According to the American Institute of Stress, 65 percent of workers said that workplace stress had caused them difficulties and more than 10 percent described these as having major effects. They also reported that 34 percent of employees had difficulties sleeping due to workplace stress.

How Do I Ask For a Demotion?

"I would not recommend doing things the way I did them!," said Murphy. "I waited until I was overly frustrated and exasperated in the role, and it just sort of exploded out of me!"

"My boss tabled the idea and then we spoke about it at a later time after I was able to gather my thoughts a bit," said Murphy. She recommended writing a list of things you're not happy about and would like to change or develop, mentioning the concept of job crafting. "This is the idea that you can accept some more responsibilities in a job that you actually want, and possibly relegate some that you don't find as rewarding," she said, "to cut and paste a more satisfying role out of the responsibilities available."

If you think this doesn't sound like something your employer would tolerate, Murphy encourages everyone to ask the questions anyway. "If you never ask you'll never know," she said, "We hear horror stories about awful bosses but I think a lot of times our seniors are a lot more flexible than we think, especially if you can spin your requests in a way that also benefits the company."

She also recommends showing flexibility, as well as your gratitude to the company for the opportunity. "Try not to seem ungrateful and express your gratitude for the company and the role, but articulate that it's just not the right fit for you," she said, "Also expressing flexibility is also key. Make an offer to stay in the role until they find someone else, and to help with a strong exit plan to get your replacement set up as quickly as possible."

Understand Your Finances

Many of us seek promotions not only to progress our careers, but also to increase our finances, but money shouldn't always be the main influencing factor. "Money wasn't necessarily the motivating reason for me here," said, "but I did take a good look at my finances and realised I could actually live on a lot less than I thought could. There's a lot of power and control over your own life to be gained by working out what you actually need, rather than what would be nice to have, and it means you can make clear decisions just for yourself, and empower yourself to realize you'll be a lot happier and also alright, without that extra couple of thousand a year."

You Are Not a Snowflake!

Many members of the younger generations have been labeled "snowflakes" for what the older generations perceive as a refusal to work hard and an overdemanding nature. "It's actually a lot harder and takes a lot of vulnerability to have the self-awareness to make difficult yet necessary changes in your life to make yourself happy," said Murphy.

"It's easy and far more common to just keep muddling along, and do everything everyone tells you, filling yourself full of regret and resentment. You also have to be brave, and not care about what people will say about you for upsetting the status quo."

Do you know that sense of relief when you finally make a decision about something that has been making you unhappy, or playing on your mind for a long time?

This is something that Meghan learned first-hand. "I truly believe that every time you make a positive decision for yourself, it builds trust within you. The only person you really need to worry about making happy in life is yourself, and your relationship with yourself is the most important one you'll ever have."

A 2005 study called "The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?", published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, suggested that not only does success make you happy, but happiness can make you successful. Through extensive studies and tests, the researchers concluded that, "It appears that happiness, rooted in personality and in past successes, leads to approach behaviors that often lead to further success," suggesting that making successful decisions to make yourself happy will inevitably lead to further success.

Murphy argued that making positive decisions for herself improved her self-confidence and overall experience of life. "Asking for the demotion not only made me feel proactive and in control of my life," she said, "That decision to reduce my responsibilities in areas of my job that were making me miserable gave me so much more energy to do things that are important to me in my personal life, such as start my own business, and teach yoga on the side. I have a much better work, life balance now and it's liberating."

What If They Say No?

Asking for anything you're not directly being offered at work can be daunting; a pay rise, extra holiday, even things you're entitled to like time off in lieu can be scary when you don't quite see eye-to-eye with your boss. "I was definitely concerned that I would be overlooked for future opportunities" said Murphy, "however I do believe in making space for future opportunities. If you're miserable and drained, you're not necessarily going to be able to spot good opportunities that come your way."

If your request for a demotion is denied, then maybe it's the sign you need to start looking for a new job? "I would have started looking for a new job if they had not been amenable," said Murphy, "Which would have been a shame because it's beneficial not only for the employee but also the employer to listen and be as accommodating as possible to their staff otherwise companies will lose probably skilled workers. We know it's much more expensive to hire and train new staff than to internally hire."

In early April this year, Murphy ended up being able to job craft her way back in to the original promotion, but with a different set of responsibilities than she had before. "I'm so much happier," she said, "I encourage anybody who is unhappy in their work, or their personal life, to make the changes to make themselves happier so they can show up for themselves, their job and the people and things they care about."

Have you had a workplace dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.